C25K W1D2...DONE!

Off to a good start this morning. Got my run in, did lots around the house.

Had a large (but filling) breakfast...and only 5 pts left for dinner, but I will make it work somehow.

I made myself a nice lunch:
Lobster salad (3 pts the way I made it) and put it over a mixture of romaine and iceberg lettuce. Delish. Now to go sit by the pool and sun myself. Love days off.

August...and beyond.

So, today was another "last supper" kinda day. I hate when I eat like this, and even though I reset my WI day to Tuesdays (this seems to be the most consistent day for me to WI with my horrible retail schedule...) I've been nothing but bad and am HUGELY in the red. Emotional eating, for sure...but turning into self-sabotage.

I'm writing tonight to say NO MORE. I need to take control of my thyroid and at least maintain my weight if I can't lose. I DID expense myself a new food scale (on my credit card) I talked to a few other hypothyroid people and they said they need to be COMPLETELY exact in order to lose while they struggle with medication. So, starting tomorrow, that's what I need to be.

As per my blog title, I want to lose this weight FOR GOOD. I lost some of the foci (focuses?) of my blog since moving back home, so I am going to rededicate myself to these as well:
1. post more pictures
2. trying new recipes
3. trying one new food item, per week

At the very least, I have restarted C25K, I want to make myself the runner I WAS once upon a time - I hope to do a half marathon before I'm 30. I did a marathon before I was 25, so I guess I am doing it backwards.

Tomorrow will be C25K W1D2...I'm starting from scratch so I can learn how to appreciate running outdoors once again. Today was pretty good. The dog even came with me!

I just need to remember to take this all one day at a time, and forgive myself for being human...

Tomorrow is July 31. I recommit and put myself first, above all else.

"Food" for Thought

One of my friends from MS (and a Weight Watcher, who just reached goal and was approached about possibly being a leader one day, go JILL!) posted this link to her Facebook wall the other day. Being newly single (5 weeks! Woohoo, now if I could just get him to stop calling every few weeks...) I read it, am going to print it, and check off the things I deem appropriate for me.

Read ladies, take what you like, and leave the rest.

http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articlematch.aspx?cp-documentid=24751924>1=32023

^A good read for coupled up gals, too!

Offically HATE my thyroid....

...cause it crashed again on Wednesday. When I WI Thursday, I was up 2.4 lbs.

I am so tired and so disgusted w myself. I was MOSTLY OP and earned lots of AP. I was in the red 9 pts, but that does not constitute a 2.4 lb gain.

Ever since Wed, I no longer have any energy (again, like I was 3 weeks ago) and can barely get out of bed after work. So tired. So over it.

I hate my body. I hate what it looks like and feels like, and I hate that my clothes don't fit.

I hate that it's working AGAINST my best efforts. I hate that once upon a time I was 162 and allowed myself to go ALL the way up to 200 again.

I just wasted a Saturday off because I didn't even have the energy to sit by the pool in the sun. This is awful.

I hope I lose this week, otherwise I will have to re-evaluate my WW membership. I haven't been able to afford it since I rejoined, but I figured it was worth the expense. Now, I'm not so sure it's worth the expense until I get my medical issues worked out.

Feel like crying.

Coming back....

Ok, so last night I had a meltdown. There's no avoiding that. I must have eaten about 12 double stuff oreos. I cried, about how I hate myself, hate what I am doing to myself when I gain, hate my job (retail, I'm a certified teacher who hasn't been able to get a job), and am still dealing with the backlash of having broken up with a 4ish year BF...(I did the breaking and feel guilt!). Emailed my BFF who is also on Weight Watchers, about how I was NOT going to WI and I hate everything and my thyroid and feel trapped financially.

Today I said, KJ, suck it up, go WI.

I did and I was down 3.2! That was EXACTLY how much I gained last week, which, I guess was MOSTLY bc of TOM. THANK GOD. I WAS in the red, but I think I am starting to finally get to a normal level of thyroid function and I have been able to exercise more. I feel much more capable today. I am 1.6 lbs away from getting my 5% back!

Next WI will be week 16 for me as well, and I should get my "Stay and Succeed" charm, no matter what happens with WI. :-)

Gonna try a new strategy for POINTS again this week. Since I have a BAD habit of eating "imaginary" (finished with WPA, and then I "owe" myself APs, which I NEVER earn all of) points, I am going to try it a different way. Since I track manually, I have decided that I am going to eat my APs first, as much as I can. For example, I get 25 POINTS. Today, I am planned at 29 points. (Having a slice of Buffalo Chicken Pizza for dinner...mmmm). I have already earned 1 AP, so I need to earn 3 more before the day is over. Then I will have earned/eaten 4 APs today, and still have FULL WPA. Can't hurt to try, right? The program works different for everyone...and I can even get those 3 AP in BEFORE I go to dinner :-)

If any of you use the WW Boards, PLEASE read Emily's most recent blog entry (on my WLJ Friends Links). I just read it, she hit ONEderland today! I was almost in tears reading about how she still perceives herself as being stared at in stores. Having a weight issue, I can TOTALLY relate, and it feels good not to be alone. CONGRATS EMILY on your CONTINUED SUCCESS!

Happy to make a comeback and have a better week!