The Bright Side of 2010

June 2010 (189): Almost pass out while shopping in an Ulta. Go to doc, get blood work. Have thyroid disease. Makes E and I fight, bc I refuse to drive the 2 hours to see him when I feel like passing out. Cut my hair off, super short (classic breakup move). Move back home to NY, break up with E. He didn't take it well, but it took a lot of courage to get out of a 5 year relationship that had been going sour for a while. Feel guilty, but start to feel free. Begin a social life, and return to working @ VS on Long Island.

July 2010 (192): Worked at VS a lot, drank a lot, hung out with friends, and generally enjoyed being home for all that it was/is worth. Got my PWC license so I could operate a jetski.

August 2010 (195): Enjoyed final month of summer, rode the jetski on open water! Got offered a job in a Catholic school, took it, and prepared my classroom for the fall. Say "goodbye" to VS until Holiday. Struggled with, and upped thyroid medication.

September 2010 (196): Began teaching Kindergarten (again!) in a Catholic School. Stayed very busy with school events. Took road trip to Atlantic City with friends from home. Joined Planet Fitness!

October 2010 (196): Began researching and applying for Graduate schools. Was sick with a cough, but no health care yet. Develop a HUGE crush on a friend of ExDBF, and obsess over it...(Yes, I'm 27)

November 2010 (196): Made my list of 101 things to do before 30! Went to my first Black Friday sale, celebrated my BFF's birthday, and just generally enjoyed a Thanksgiving where I did NOT have to do any extensive traveling. Began Points+ at WW! Signed up for online dating services, to put myself back out in the world.

December 2010 (196-185): Recommit to WW via P+! Sign up for LI Half Marathon, ROCK OUT on the new plan and lost 11 lbs! Start talking to "P" a boy from okcupid.com. Make plans to hang out with P during the first week of January. Have an amazing Christmas surrounded by the people I love.

Can't WAIT to head into 2011. I feel like THIS is going to be my year!

Year-End Recap: Inspired by J over @ Kissing Frogs....

So, after seeing (and being thoroughly entertained) by J's year-end post, I figured today would be a great day for reflection. This year was a WHIRLWIND of struggle for me, so I'm using my livejournal (personal blog) as a reference...

January 2010 (200 lbs): Returned to NC from NY after Christmas, and cried for the whole 10 hour drive. It was miserable, and I realized at this point I HAD to move back to NY and be with my family/friends if I wasn't teaching. My BFF Kat came down for my birthday, and I got sick right before she left. I remember eating my tasteless birthday dinner @ Cheesecake Factory. I was SO grateful she was there! Was starting to see the flaws in my relationship with E (exDBF), but didn't have the courage to move on.
GOT SO SICK with flu & Bronchitis, but had no health care. Dad drove down from NY to take care of me.

February 2010 (200 lbs): E and I fought over his birthday as I recovered from the flu. Watched the Superbowl alone. Began working at my friend Katie's Coffee shop while I worked @ Victoria's Secret - working about 60-68 hours a week over 3 jobs. Killed myself working, for the sake of paying the bills. Still miserable.

March 2010 (200 lbs): Bo (college BFF) came to visit! We had a fantastic time together, but I was HORRIBLY saddened when she left. I began SERIOUSLY counting down till when I would move back home. I was still with E.

April 2010 (Rejoined WW @ 200 lbs): Bill (my brother!) came to visit over Easter break. We spent the holiday together and I made a delicious seafood dinner. Attended the wedding of co-worker, Sarah, with E. He drank, I could not bc I drove...I was angry, as this was a recurring event with him. Started to struggle with migraines and the feeling that I was going to pass out @ any time. E told me I was being drammatic.

May 2010 (195ish): Prepared my dance students for their recital. Missed a college friend's wedding because of the recital. Counting down became more serious. Told E I was definitely moving back home in June. He took it horribly, and very selfishly. I was deeply hurt. Gave my notice at the Dance Studio and Victoria's Secret. Began packing. Moving home started to feel REAL.
....to be continued...

January Goals(Thanks, Lindsey!) + Some Pics...

Lindsey (on the 20's board) posted a thread today about Goals (but not Resolutions) for January 2011....So here's what I wrote...I'm doing this here to keep me focused and accountable.

- Log about 50 miles (training for half marathon)
- take 2-3 classes (zumba, dance fitness, dance classes, etc)
- Lose 4 lbs (hopefully, and will not beat myself up if I don't)
- Begin INSANITY workout as my cross training (I started this in August, but wasn't fit enough - so now I'm going to do it 1-2 days a week)


I can't WAIT for January!

Anyhow, here's some pics.

This is a picture of the "before" pic I carry with me to WW each week (230 lbs, pictured with my brother, 2003)


Here's some pictures from today, in my NSV size 14 jeans...I realized though I am 23 lbs higher than the lowest I was on WW (in 2007) - I am down 45 lbs from my original (highest weight!) I'm feeling pretty good today! :-)




And a side view, more coy pic (Note, Rowdy is chilling in the back of BOTH pictures...he loves his momma):



These are in my dad's room, as I do not have a full length mirror. I'm ready to keep rocking WW and hope to lose the last 35 lbs in 2011! That's my goal/plan!!!

Goals and Rewards.....

So, now that I'm below my 5%, I'm going to take the next piece of my WLJ, and chunk it up a little. I'm trying to focus on 5 lbs, 10 times.

I've completed 3 times, I have 7 left. Seems SO do-able for 2011.

My next "Major" goal is my next 5%, 180 lbs. I'm trying to figure out how to reward myself when I hit 180 lbs. I got SO many things that I want for Christmas, that I am not REALLY sure what to get for myself, but I am thinking I will get the next season of Scrubs that I need for my collection.

So, I've done this about 1,000 times before, but here are my tentative goals and rewards as I move forward:

180: MacBook (will be buying this with old savings bonds, so not paying much "out of pocket")
175: 25 lbs! New Tattoo "Carpe Diem" design
170-171 (Next 10%): Mani/Pedi
165: Scrubs, Season 4
160: Scrubs, Season 5
154 (Next 10%): Massage
150 (Goal?): iPod touch + Seven Jeans

I am not sure yet if my goal will be 145, 150, or 155. I've never been that small before, so I'm not sure where I will be at a "happy" weight. I've been as low as 162, but my body still had some work to do - not sure if the 7 lbs to 155 would make it...We'll see.

I'm so psyched to keep moving forward with P+. I love it!!!

BMI 29: Overweight!!

^ My NEW favorite cooking toy!! Purchased for myself while I was Christmas shopping.

Best Christmas gift ever? I was down 4 pounds when I had WI today! I'm really stoked - last week was TOM week - and I maintained, hence the big loss.

I am still completely LOVING P+. I am SO satisfied. Today's loss means I'm down another P+ value, to 30 P+ a day. The change from 32 to 31 was easy, so I think the change from 31 to 30 should be fairly easy, too.

I was disgusted by something I discovered today - 2 packets of Truvia is 1 P+ value bc it contains 6 carbs....I guess I need to re-evaluate how I sweeten coffee w regular Half & Half! Mostly, I use creamers every morning (2 P+ for 2 tbs) and don't add sugar, bc they are sweetened...I thought I was using LESS points this morning with my Half & Half and Truvia - SADLY, I am not! booo. So ladies & gents - check your sugar substitutes!

I'm registering for the Long Island Half Marathon and I begin my training today!
http://www.run-li.com/2011/index.php?id=49

I have a few girlfriends running it with me - I've run a full before with Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's Team in Training, but felt that its time to conquer the half.

I'm psyched bc running changes my body and my super-athletic look comes out. I'm psyched to finish a half, and earn some more bragging rights...but I'm mostly just excited that my body is getting to a place where I can be a RUNNER again, not just someone who runs. :-)

Hooray! Hope Santa/Hanukkah was good to everyone!

21 days in - and MAINTAINED!

It's PMS week, and I maintained this morning! How happy am I??? I LOVE P+. I also finished my first cycle of OP 2 Overcome - my goal for that cycle was simply to track EVERYTHING that went into my mouth - and I did! I am so proud of myself. I did go into the red a little bit this week bc of PMS/no APs, but I'm happy to have maintained and been much better about my GHGs. The 2nd cycle - I am going to focus on having "Perfect" GHGs every day - that means getting every single check box checked, every day (According to my "Ultimate 3 Month Tracker):

6 Liquids
2 Healthy Oils
1 Multivitamin
5 F/V
2 NF/LF Dairy

Do-able...I am capable of doing this, when I plan. I am GOOD when I plan. I thrive on organization and preparedness. From a former colleague in my school in NC, I learned the phrase "Fail to plan, plan to fail." Of course, she was talking in terms of lesson plans, but I think this applies to many, if not all areas of my life.

My new recipe of the week will be THIS tomorrow night:
http://www.skinnytaste.com/2010/12/spinach-tortellini-en-brodo.html

with a salad my dad makes, that includes some cheese - I count it as 4 pts/serving, and this seems to be working, so I will stay with that...

Today, I threw some stuff in the crockpot & it already smells delicious:
2 chicken breasts
1 can crushed tomatos
1/2 packet mild chili seasoning
1 can black beans
1 small onion, chopped
cumin (maybe 1/2 tsp)
red pepper seeds (maybe 1/4 teaspoon)

Before it's ready, I will take out the chicken, shred it, and put it back in for about 1/2 hour. Then, I'm going to serve each serving (4) over 1/2 cup of brown rice, with 3 tbs FF sour cream.

Yum. Smells good already, and should be hearty and filling.

I'll be wrapping Christmas gifts today, even though I still have 1 more person to buy for, and am waiting for a package from Zappos.

Merry Christmas to ALL who celebrate it! I'll probably be blogging and on the boards a LOT this week as a coping strategy! I'm hoping for a loss Sunday (WI the day after Christmas??? who AM I???)

Day 16 + going strong!!

OK, so I'm being lazy with the menus this week. But, it's the first week in about 3 weeks that I am not completely bombarded with my students' stuff @ home, so I'm taking advantage of that.

I've been OP for 16 days and feel great! I even bring a piece of candy with me to work every day.

I've tracked every bite from beginning to end, and this week I am putting more emphasis on GHGs...I think getting in my healthy oils has really been helpful since Sunday...

Tonight, I am meeting a teacher-friend who I haven't seen since the beginning of the school year, at my FAVORITE place, Panera. I planned yesterday so I didn't have to go into my WPA for this:
You-pick-two: 19 pts
Broccoli Cheddar
Turkey Artichoke Panini
Side - French Baguette

SO stoked for this meal. It's been supercold here in NY and hearty soups and hot sandwiches seem to always hit the spot for me. :-D Haven't decided if I am going to get a soda yet....hmmm...Decisions, decisions.

:-D

Week 3 of P+ Begins

And I WI @ home, but I'm down another 2 lbs! 6.8 over the last two weeks! I know it will slow down from here, and I may even see maintenance over the next week or so, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't completely stoked!

I still have 31 P+, so this week, I am REALLY going to focus on hitting ALL of my GHGs, every day. When I started up again in April, I was really good at that. This time around, I find I have the most trouble getting in my healthy oils, and nonfat/lowfat dairy - since I have been eating a lot of full-fat cheeses. (mmm, cheese)

SO, for this week:
I am going to make it a personal goal, no matter HOW busy I am, to post what I have eaten for the day, in order to reflect on whether I have hit all of my GHGs. Hold me accountable, reader-friends! I need to focus on making sure I use all of my daily P+ to hit my GHGs, before I start dipping into the WPA.

I'll be back later with my menu, BUT, I had a great breakfast, and already managed to get in 2 types of lean protein, an oil, and a serving of fruit. :-)

BTW....

I lost 4.8 on Sunday when I had WI - 1st week of P+ = success!!!

DAY 10

OP, after 20-some odd student conferences. I even had a BEER within my points.

Off from work tomorrow, THANK GOD.

I feel like such a sicky-poo tonight, and I'm not getting to the gym this week.

Boohiss.

Night, WW world!

xoxo

OP2P/P+ day 7

Still on plan!

Smoothie AND Dinner were delicious today! I'm loving this! Trying to down lots of water tonight, and hope that the 500mg of sodium I had today don't have me bloated huge..

BUT, I have to say, on the new plan, with all of the additional fruit I am eating, I am finally "going" to the bathroom...Thank God! Last week for WI I hadn't "gone" in 3 days!

Tomorrow I'm going to try the Skinnytaste Pumpkin Latte. I'm going to make it before I head out to Weight Watchers, and then drink it after my WI (I have this weird "thing" about not really eating/drinking too much before my AM WI).

I peeked 3 days ago, and I was down, usually I peak in the AM before WI, also. I am going to try to skip that tomorrow morning....I stayed on plan all week, tracked everything, and I made healthy choices. If I didn't maintain the loss I had two days ago, it's due to some freak-of-nature occurrence.

I threw out my back today. I'm a bit upset. I was unable to workout, and I worry that this will ruin my week also...

But I guess, two workouts missed didn't MAKE me fat, so it's not going to RUIN my week.

Hope I can at LEAST get to walking on the treadmill tomorrow.

OP2O/P+ Day 6

Feeling really good, still OP. Tomorrow is the last day of the week, my WPA will reset on Sunday with WI!

Making an attempt tomorrow to stay AWAY from high-sodium foods, get in my healthy oils, and eat non-processed, home-cooked stuff. This means that I am trying TWO recipes from Skinnytaste tomorrow (Gina has updated the P+ on both):

Breakfast (I am cutting it in half to make for 1, but subbing in Lite Silk Vanilla Soy...keeping amount at 1/2 cup though, cause I like it thicker, but still liquidy)
http://www.skinnytaste.com/2010/10/pumpkin-smoothie.html

Dinner: (with 1 c cooked angelhair and homemade sauce, which I will control P+ value of)
http://www.skinnytaste.com/2009/04/baked-chicken-parmesan.html

So right now, am planned for minimal sodium. Going to stay AWAY from Garlic Bread this time, and try to have a really vegetable-y lunch...haven't planned lunch yet.

Need to get more f/v when I'm at the grocery store tomorrow!

Loving how liveable this plan is for me - I had planned for wine this evening (4oz) but was feeling munchy, so for the same P+ value, I was able to sub in 1 serving of BBQ potato chips.

Delish, and I'm SO satisfyed all of the time!

OP2Overcome/P+ Day 5

Day 5 is in the books, my job is in jeopardy, so still trying to deal with that in lieu of blogging.

Exhausted. Out of WPA bc I indulged in 1/2 cup of regular Vanilla Bean ice cream tonight.

It.was.so.worth.it.

Now, just to get some more workouts in, and make it till Sunday!!

OP2Overcome/ P+ Day 4

Still going strong despite emotional stress today. Job woes, will post tomorrow, I hope -

Need to go to bed so I can get up and go to work early :-(

OP2Overcome/New Plan Day #3

Well, I've dipped WAY farther into WPA than I'd planned, but I have another successful day in the book. While I feel GREAT about the new program, I'm getting really nervous! What if 32 PlusPoints is too many for me? I'm blindly trusting the process, but I almost feel guilty eating so much friend! I'm getting in my 5 F/V servings as approximately 4 servings of fruit, and one serving of veggies!

Either way, I FEEL much better knowing that what I am doing right now IS being Perfectly OP...I never thought that I could DO that, but the new plan is making it feel possible.

I had even planned for myself some ice cream tonight - but I opted instead to use that AND my APs from my run for some garlic bread with dinner.

And you know what? It was WORTH it.

I think maybe that's the point of the New Plan, amongst the overall goal of weightloss...Being more CHOOSY about the foods that you eat. It almost seems counter-intuitive, having more points, and being MORE choosy, but we must remind ourselves EVERY day that THIS IS NOT MOMENTUM!!

Tomorrow I go back to work at Victoria's Secret, for Wed & Fri nights. It's going to be rough, working retail for 5 hours after teaching 25, 5 year olds all day...BUT

- My day is COMPLETELY planned: breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks (fruit, if necessary)
- I have enough P+ for a NF Grande Gingerbread Spice Latte from Starbucks BEFORE I go into VS
- I have THREE points left to play around with! :-)

My goals going into day 4, for the 2nd half of the week are this:
- continue to TRACK EVERYTHING
- stay within DPT, only use 7 remaining WPA if I use all of my earned APs
- make sure I get my healthy oils! I'm lacking these QUITE a bit..I just looked and haven't had ANY yet this week!

Anyway, the gist is that I feel GREAT, and now I am working on training for the LI Half Marathon in May - Hopefully the weight will come off. :-)

OP 2 Overcome/POINTS+, Day #2

I still feel REALLY good and REALLY positive about this plan! I seriously can't WAIT for WI this coming weekend...but my days are going to be off, as Thanksgiving made me change my WI to Sunday...so HOPEFULLY no one wants to go out on Friday or Saturday, because by then, I'm pretty sure I'll be out of WPA.

I've dipped into WPA, accidentally drank a glass of regular soda (which I haven't had in YEARS)...and it turned out that it's 4 Points+. I didn't even enjoy it! That, and my serving of chocolate covered raisins, which I THOUGHT would be 3 Points, is 5 Points+....So, I'm learning, through trial and error. Mom also got us Greek Salads for dinner while we were visiting last night.

SO, the best laid plans are changed, and I dipped WELL into my WPA, even though I had planned NOT to use them this week. I definitely don't want to use them ALL by week's end...this much I know!

However, all of that said and done, today is my 2nd day PERFECTLY ON PLAN in about 6 months! I'm really proud of myself - and it was DELIGHTFUL to come home from work hungry today and have a clementine without having to count a point for it. I already loved fruit, but I will definitely be doing more in the way of fruit and smoothies now that it's FREE on the Points+ system....

Tonight, I even planned to have 1/2 cup of regular ice cream, I feel like it's worth the 4 Points+ that I calculated it to be (according to the package and my calculator...) - but, being that tonight's a late workout night, I might even pass on that, and then I'll end up getting 4 of my WPA BACK...we'll see though, I do love ice cream. If it's 30 like it was this morning, I will probably pass for hot tea.

For dinner tonight, I took a recipe from Skinnytaste's Crockpot list and Point+ calculated it. I'm having 10 oz of a turkey taco chili with 1/2 c reduced fat shredded cheddar, all over 3/4 c whole grain rice for a total of 11 points. I NEVER got to eat 11 point dinners when my DPA was 27! SO psyched (but somehow, I think if I lose this week, my DPA won't be 32 anymore, I have a feeling once I dip below 190, that will change, though I can DEFINITELY embrace that change, knowing that 29 is the lowest I will ever go!)

Ok, enough ramblings for today. Will try to post pics tomorrow from tonight's Skinnytaste creation. LOVE her site!

A bagel is 8 points!!! (OP 2 OVERCOME Day #1)

Went to my WI this morning. I was up to 196, but with TOM and the amount of high-sodium foods I ate this week, I kind of expected it. It's OK though, I'm looking forward to my next WI when the loss will be bigger bc I will watch my sodium for the days leading up to WI (as I usually do)

My biggest quip with the NEW Points Plus program is that a bagel is 8 points! I looooove me some bagels, being a Long Islander, and usually have a bagel at least once a weekend with egg whites & cheese on it.

In OTHER news though, my Daily Points are up to 32 (based on age, weight, height), and Weeklies are up to 49! I'm going to try to survive this week on ONLY my DPs and APs, as when I start getting into weeklies, I start getting out of control - and with 49, that could open up a WHOLE NEW can of worms! I think 32 is more than enough points for me each day...And honestly, with free fruits, it should be really easy to stick to this...

Healthy oils are STILL 1 pt/tsp. I was really hoping that would be a change.

I don't REALLY have any problems with the plan, per se, other than the fact that I need a NEW go-to meal for Panera Bread...it's 24 points now for what I would usually get! I'm going there for lunch in a little while, and am going to get broccoli cheddar soup + a side of baguette...that's 12 points, but if I eat enough fruits and veggies today, that should be plenty filling for lunch.

I DID buy the new POINTS+ calculator, while they are on sale for $5.95. I think this will make things MUCH more manageable for me - and I'm currently using it to look into the Points+ values of all of my favorite foods. (Hopefully, I decide my Friday nonfat lattes are still worth it!)

Today I am beginning the OP 2 OVERCOME challenge from the 20s board. Basically, it's being OP for 21 days, to overcome bad eating habits. I think with the new plan in place, it should be really easy for me to recommit to this.

I am going to attempt to blog for the next 21 days...this is Day #1.

Feeling good, positive, hopeful. :-)

Thanksgiving

OK, so, I didn't "conquer" Thanksgiving as I had planned...but at least I didn't feel as ill as I had years previous. I also managed to make the WW Pumpkin Pie from the weekly...and it was SO worth it.

The only thing I really went overboard on was something that we'd never had on Thanksgiving before: Buffalo Chicken dip. My nemesis. I ate it on a TON of celery.

On the upside, I definitely got in all of my GHGs for Thanksgiving. I also ran 3.1 miles on the treadmill in the morning. I didn't even drink any points, stayed away from the booze this year - I guess it was good that I was going Black Friday shopping!!!

I also made skinnytaste's Pumpkin Butter yesterday - so I'm going to put it in a delicious pumpkin smoothie later. (After my post-Black Friday nap).

I am going to recover from Thanksgiving by focusing on GHGs today, and running at the gym tomorrow. I hope to make it to the gym today, but that depends heavily on whether I choose to go into work (I'm not scheduled, but as a Catholic School teacher, I can always use extra money - I work at Victoria's Secret for my cousin as a side job now - love that discount!!)...There's always my WiiFit option, too.

Weighing in Sunday @ 11. I will probably be up, but am anxious for the new plan and hope that it will be just the boost that I need!

Damn you, TOM!

Just ate 1.5 donuts that my brother brought in from Dunkin Donuts. AND the pumpkin coffee he bought me, for a grand total of 12 points.

I already used all of my WPA yesterday. Going to try to earn 1-2 more AP tonight on my Wii, but already earned 3 today..

Either way, right now, I am 9 pts ITR, made at myself, and slightly tummy-achy.

Bah.

Up 1....

Up 1 pound this week, but in fairness, I'm having...uhhh...going problems and it's been 3 days. I know I've been eating very carb heavy and not enough protein/fruit, but TOM's about to be here and I'm dying for starchy, carby, comfort foods. It was also my dad's birthday, and I was overdid it on the Ravioli, Garlic Bread, and birthday cake on Wednesday night. At least I can say that I enjoyed myself.

On the upside, the damage could have ALWAYS been worse!

I just discovered Skinnytaste this week. I made Pasta Fagioli, and it was excellent! My non-WW dad didn't even know that it was a WW recipe. I also made a "Enchilada Pie" in my slow cooker - that I made substitutions with and it became a WW recipe. Either way, it was delicious and I enjoyed both. Now, I just really need to start taking pictures of all of these things that I'm making - I love Emily's blog, and while I am not a photographer like her, I think it's important to slow down and enjoy the PROCESS of cooking... (Which I love anyway, but how NEAT is it to chronicle our lives in pictures, living in this digital age???)

This week: Thanksgiving. That's the biggest hurtle. I'm going to try to get in some extra APs, save as many WPA as possible, and then eat ONE plate of food.

My plan:
27 Points:
Breakfast (NECESSARY for Thanksgiving!):
Omelete (how the HECK do you spell that???):
3 egg whites
1 slice regular American cheese
tomato
mushroom
cooked in 1 tsp evoo
coffee w 2 tbs Half and Half, splenda

POINTS remaining: 22

Appetizer:
1/2 stuffed artichoke
4 stuffed mushrooms

POINTS remaining: 12

Dinner:
4 oz turkey breast
1/2 c cranberry sauce
1/2 c mashed potatoes, with salt & pepper

POINTS remaining 0:
4 oz white wine
1/8 slice WW Recipe Pumpkin Pie w Graham-Cracker Crust (from last week's weekly)

POINTS: -7...which is roughly 3 trips to the gym....

As long as I REALLY stick to this plan (I am going to write it down and put it in my purse) I should have a very successful OP Thanksgiving.

What are YOUR plans?? What are YOUR must-haves??

Current Weight: 192.4

Was up .4 this week, but I'm OK with that - I ran a lot, didn't eat to well, and definitely partied a little.

I'm feeling pretty good about what I can be capable of this week. I'm going to work hard on my runs, work hard on myself, and hopefully hit a nice loss when I WI on Saturday...

looking forward, not behind!

Current Weight: 192

Ok, so I lost 3 lbs this week @ WI. This is good, but since I was UP, I'm back to where I was in October...but, at least, I am starting to feel like I can DO it again.

Currently, with Emily as my inspiration, I am making a 101 in 1,001 list. I didn't realize how difficult it would be to actually come up with 101 things I want to do in the next 2.75 years! This is crazy! When I finish the list, I plan to type it, and post it here in my blog....

Went to a fantastic belated Halloween party last night. Drank all of my WPA, so I will be entering the week with none, but I'm OK with this. Looking forward to my day off for Vet's day on Thursday so I can WI and RELAX!!!

Maintain

So, I WIed again today. I expected to be up, but I stayed the same. It's a big deal right now that I have even managed to WI 2 weeks in a row. This is HUGE, as I had been avoiding the scale to avoid negative outcomes...I'm improving.

I noticed this week that my major problem is getting home from work. I'm a teacher and arrive home from school between 3:30-4:30, depending on how much work I have to do, or how many meetings I have (my students are dismissed at 2:30). I'm "ravenous" when I get home, and there's LOTS of crap in my house, at all times. It's hard to work through.

Basically, I need to plan better. I think I need to use less points during the day, so that I have more points at night. Also, I think I need to make sure I get in my workout (or trip to the gym) within a half hour of getting home, with no snack in between. This seems to be where I do the MOST damage. I eat ONE snack, where I count the points and am controlled. Then all HELL breaks loose and I eat all of the chips and high-sodium-chemically JUNK my dad and brother keep in the house. Gross. Then I feel gross. Then I need to wait longer to go the the gym, and I have NO points left for dinner.

My foci for this week are the following things:
-continue with running program (weeks 5-6 of C25K, I've been working through it at my own pace)
-begin some weight training
-no eating after 9
-plan, plan, plan

I just really need to get my shit together!

Starting again...again.

So, I had a brief hiatus.

Summer, I am saying, I "maintained." I hit my 5%, moved back home to NY, and then never saw it again. I struggled, I'm upset, but moving forward.

Now I'm back.

I went today to watch some friends finish the DIVA Half Marathon on Long Island, and I can't wait till I can run a half marathon now. HOW inspiring. I felt SO wonderful when I was doing that....I need to get back to that. Like, NOW.

I'm making a commitment to myself to BLOG at least once a week.
I'm making a commitment to myself to put good, healthy foods in my body.
I'm making a commitment to myself to run 3-4 times a week.

I'm making a commitment to myself, putting me first.

I'm very happy to be single, to be home, to be surrounded by friends and family. Now I need to work on my happiness and confidence with my body, and I feel like life will fall into place from there.

I'm wiping my weights from my progress and starting over with the weight I am at today....

I'm off to a great start btwn Saturday and Sunday. This makes me very happy. :-)

I CAN and I WILL do this.

Change in Goals

Current Weight: 189.8 (whoooo!)
Re-earn 5% (189): "right hand" ring I already bought for myself
AUGUST goal (188.2): Bra/Panties set I already bought for myself
SEPTEMBER GOAL (TBD): Season 4 of Scrubs
10% (180.2): Permanent French Tips (gels..artificial nails make me feel prettier!)
NEXT 10% (162.2): Season 5 of Scrubs
Goal: (5'7", I *think* my goal will be 155, but possibly 150. The lowest I have ever been before is 162.8, according to old WW books: iPod touch
Lifetime: Vacation to ________

Latest WI...When you don't feel like you deserve the SV...

So I WI on Tuesday last week, due to my crazy schedule. I won't be able to WI again due to crazy schedule this Friday...I was down .8 which means:

7/22 BMI @ 193.2: 30.7
8/3 BMI @ 192.8: 30.6

Sadly, I really feel like I didn't deserve it. Yes, I started running again, YES, I got in my GHGs, but I was at like 25 pts in the red...meanwhile the week before that, I was at 3 pts in the red and gained 2.4.

I know I should take it and run with it, but I seriously feel guilty. My thyroid meds did go up in that week, but it really scares me now, bc I feel like my body is going to adjust and I am going to gain again this week. I am so seriously frustrated with myself and my WLJ right now. I have the feeling that no matter what I do, I'm gonna be doing the gain/loss/gain/loss thing. 7 weeks ago I hit my 5%. I want to hit that number again SO badly. I was actually starting to feel good about myself when I got there...Like I could DO IT. Right now, teetering btwn 190 and 195, I feel like I can't, but what's worse, I feel like it's only about 50% my fault when I gain, and 50% my fault when I lose. It's a mindf*ck, to be kind about it. LoL

I was so excited at my 5%, bc I was just "overweight" and not "obese." Now I'm obese again and having a REALLY hard time getting away from it.

And also a REALLY hard time not beating myself up on the day to day. I just want to be below 190 again @ the end of summer! I have my 5 year college reunion in October, and I would love to be at 10%....

Crankypants, bigtime.

C25K W1D2...DONE!

Off to a good start this morning. Got my run in, did lots around the house.

Had a large (but filling) breakfast...and only 5 pts left for dinner, but I will make it work somehow.

I made myself a nice lunch:
Lobster salad (3 pts the way I made it) and put it over a mixture of romaine and iceberg lettuce. Delish. Now to go sit by the pool and sun myself. Love days off.

August...and beyond.

So, today was another "last supper" kinda day. I hate when I eat like this, and even though I reset my WI day to Tuesdays (this seems to be the most consistent day for me to WI with my horrible retail schedule...) I've been nothing but bad and am HUGELY in the red. Emotional eating, for sure...but turning into self-sabotage.

I'm writing tonight to say NO MORE. I need to take control of my thyroid and at least maintain my weight if I can't lose. I DID expense myself a new food scale (on my credit card) I talked to a few other hypothyroid people and they said they need to be COMPLETELY exact in order to lose while they struggle with medication. So, starting tomorrow, that's what I need to be.

As per my blog title, I want to lose this weight FOR GOOD. I lost some of the foci (focuses?) of my blog since moving back home, so I am going to rededicate myself to these as well:
1. post more pictures
2. trying new recipes
3. trying one new food item, per week

At the very least, I have restarted C25K, I want to make myself the runner I WAS once upon a time - I hope to do a half marathon before I'm 30. I did a marathon before I was 25, so I guess I am doing it backwards.

Tomorrow will be C25K W1D2...I'm starting from scratch so I can learn how to appreciate running outdoors once again. Today was pretty good. The dog even came with me!

I just need to remember to take this all one day at a time, and forgive myself for being human...

Tomorrow is July 31. I recommit and put myself first, above all else.

"Food" for Thought

One of my friends from MS (and a Weight Watcher, who just reached goal and was approached about possibly being a leader one day, go JILL!) posted this link to her Facebook wall the other day. Being newly single (5 weeks! Woohoo, now if I could just get him to stop calling every few weeks...) I read it, am going to print it, and check off the things I deem appropriate for me.

Read ladies, take what you like, and leave the rest.

http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articlematch.aspx?cp-documentid=24751924>1=32023

^A good read for coupled up gals, too!

Offically HATE my thyroid....

...cause it crashed again on Wednesday. When I WI Thursday, I was up 2.4 lbs.

I am so tired and so disgusted w myself. I was MOSTLY OP and earned lots of AP. I was in the red 9 pts, but that does not constitute a 2.4 lb gain.

Ever since Wed, I no longer have any energy (again, like I was 3 weeks ago) and can barely get out of bed after work. So tired. So over it.

I hate my body. I hate what it looks like and feels like, and I hate that my clothes don't fit.

I hate that it's working AGAINST my best efforts. I hate that once upon a time I was 162 and allowed myself to go ALL the way up to 200 again.

I just wasted a Saturday off because I didn't even have the energy to sit by the pool in the sun. This is awful.

I hope I lose this week, otherwise I will have to re-evaluate my WW membership. I haven't been able to afford it since I rejoined, but I figured it was worth the expense. Now, I'm not so sure it's worth the expense until I get my medical issues worked out.

Feel like crying.

Coming back....

Ok, so last night I had a meltdown. There's no avoiding that. I must have eaten about 12 double stuff oreos. I cried, about how I hate myself, hate what I am doing to myself when I gain, hate my job (retail, I'm a certified teacher who hasn't been able to get a job), and am still dealing with the backlash of having broken up with a 4ish year BF...(I did the breaking and feel guilt!). Emailed my BFF who is also on Weight Watchers, about how I was NOT going to WI and I hate everything and my thyroid and feel trapped financially.

Today I said, KJ, suck it up, go WI.

I did and I was down 3.2! That was EXACTLY how much I gained last week, which, I guess was MOSTLY bc of TOM. THANK GOD. I WAS in the red, but I think I am starting to finally get to a normal level of thyroid function and I have been able to exercise more. I feel much more capable today. I am 1.6 lbs away from getting my 5% back!

Next WI will be week 16 for me as well, and I should get my "Stay and Succeed" charm, no matter what happens with WI. :-)

Gonna try a new strategy for POINTS again this week. Since I have a BAD habit of eating "imaginary" (finished with WPA, and then I "owe" myself APs, which I NEVER earn all of) points, I am going to try it a different way. Since I track manually, I have decided that I am going to eat my APs first, as much as I can. For example, I get 25 POINTS. Today, I am planned at 29 points. (Having a slice of Buffalo Chicken Pizza for dinner...mmmm). I have already earned 1 AP, so I need to earn 3 more before the day is over. Then I will have earned/eaten 4 APs today, and still have FULL WPA. Can't hurt to try, right? The program works different for everyone...and I can even get those 3 AP in BEFORE I go to dinner :-)

If any of you use the WW Boards, PLEASE read Emily's most recent blog entry (on my WLJ Friends Links). I just read it, she hit ONEderland today! I was almost in tears reading about how she still perceives herself as being stared at in stores. Having a weight issue, I can TOTALLY relate, and it feels good not to be alone. CONGRATS EMILY on your CONTINUED SUCCESS!

Happy to make a comeback and have a better week!

Goals & Rewards

So, I've been thinking a lot this week about goals. I decided to blog about it while I'm sitting here, drinking my Green Monster. (Today, it's 1 1/4 c skim, about 1/4 c water, 1 frozen banana, 1/2 c frozen blueberries, 1 tsp canola oil, 1 handful baby spinach..YUM. I buy fresh fruit, but always freeze some and keep it in there, for just these moments - LOVE the texture!)

I gained weight this past week, but I knew I would - 3.2 lbs. I just didn't give a flying f*ck about what I ate or put into my body. I can't BELIEVE how much my thyroid medication was affecting me! I switched from the Generic to the Brand Name and I am already feeling LESS lethargic, 100% less irritable, and just have generally more energy to do day-to-day stuff.

While I'm not ready to change my online stats to my ULTIMATE goal, I was thinking about setting up some rewards for myself along the way. My budget is VERY tight, but I still deserve nice things, even if it takes me MONTHS to pay them off. Here is what I'm thinking:

Current Weight: 194
Re-earn 5% (189): Fingerprint protector for DROID
10% (180.2): Permanent French Tips (gels..artificial nails make me feel prettier!)
NEXT 5% 180.2 - 5% (171.2): Season 4 of Scrubs
NEXT 10% (162.2): Season 5 of Scrubs
Goal: (5'7", I *think* my goal will be 155, but possibly 150. The lowest I have ever been before is 162.8, according to old WW books: iPod touch
Lifetime: Vacation to ________

Sooo, some of them are silly, and some are more formidable...but they're things I want and just cannot "expense" away in my present status of employment.

I'm WI-ing Wednesday morning this week. Retail makes it SO hard to get in a regular schedule....I also REALLY hate WI @ night, so I guess if I could get over that, I would have a regular-ish schedule LoL. As of right now, I will have used 31 of my 35 WPA, I'm going to try to keep it that way. I need to earn some MEGA AP's, bc I haven't felt well enough to exercise since Friday...but I'm about to embark on a pretty good walk with the dog bc I feel decent today :-)

Then, heading along for brunch @ bff's house...

Plans for brunch: (11pts)
1 bagel
2 tbs reg. cream cheese (I am bringing a tbs and measuring, don't care - but BFF is a WW-er)
tomatoes to top (bringing these)
1 small glass of mimosa
coffee, black/iced a splenda

Dinner @ mom's tonight, must convince her to try to get something within my range. :-)

WORST week(end) EVER!

Had a HORRIBLE WW weekend. Posted on the BOARDS with it, but will copy & paste to here (in the interest of laziness!)

**This weekend = disastrous for me!

Friday: WI, gained 1 lb, brother's bday, BIG BBQ @ my house. Planned to go INTO my WPA, and managed to do that WELL. :-/ However, did eat a turkey burger, corn, and some good stuff during the day. Too many sweets.

Saturday: Family reunion: brought own turkey burger & bun, but the salad my gma makes involves the dressing being made ON it with sugar. So I had no veggies. Sad looking plate with ONLY a burger on it. ExBF called me and left a vmail which I didn't listen to and deleted. Slept horrible bc of anxiety.

Sunday: Gma's birthday celebration. I asked my mom what would be served ahead of time in order to prepare: Eggplant Parm, chicken marsala, salads, veggie plates (she said). Go to party with a plant to eat eggplant parm, veggies galore, and a BIG salad.

Well, there was NO veggie plate to be found, the salad was made with GOBS of caesar dressing, crutons, and cheese, and I ended up binging out on Pumpernickel bread, cheese, and spinach dip BEFORE I had the eggplant parm. TOTALLY emotional eating due to ExBF calling Sat, leaving a vmail, and my deleting it. (I broke up with him almost 2 weeks ago...He was kinda blindsided by it - WHY, I don't know, but I am having a hard time getting him OUT of my life)

I get home...Close my wrist in a door and am sitting here icing it. Then, I go to plan my day for tomorrow/pack my lunch, and my food scale is BROKEN. Now, I have no IDEA what any of the lean proteins in my house are, and I'm crazy about being exact. I have $10 in my bank account for the next two weeks and cannot afford to buy a new one...and I live in an UN-WW friendly house. There's never whole grains or fresh fruit unless I go get it, and being tied up in family party prep all weekend, it didn't happen.

I've HAD IT. It's Sunday, I'm out of WPA, and I have to get MAD APs in by my WI Thurs morn to even have a HOPE of maintaining. I feel disgusting, none of my clothes fit, and I would be very content to sit here and bawl for the rest of the night. I just want to lose weight and feel good about myself.**

So that was it. LOTS of emotional eating. I WI on Thursday this week (it's hard to get a regular day when you work retail)...I had good intentions to NOT go into/OVER my AP & WPA for this week, but I have. 26 points in the red. I plan to get 4-5 APs today and tomorrow, so that should only land me at min APs, 18 in the red...at max, 16 in the red. But we'll see...Maybe I can push myself to get more? Maybe I assigned **too** many points to some things? Either way, I need a SERIOUS recommitment after WI this week, for SURE. I want to get my 5 lbs off for July (my monthly goal is 5 lbs. I missed it last month).

I'm babbling here, so I will move on. I just needed a "cleansing" entry, I guess!

Up 1.0???

OK, so I guess, in fairness, I WAS "in the red" by about 50 POINTS this week. But I had hoped I would still manage to lose the .8 I needed to return to my 5%. I guess I've been in denial. But three weeks ago, I started medication for Hypothyroid-ism, and my doc (in NC, haven't established in NY yet) said the meds would make weight loss "easier" because my body wouldn't be fighting against me anymore.

Turns out, for reasons UNrelated to WLJ, I don't think I'm on the right dose at ALL, but I have that checked out again in about 2 weeks, if I can find a doc to see me without health care.

So, I decided to set my goals for this week as the following:
1 - 17-19 GHGs Daily (this is different from the previous 16-19)
2 - 16 APs for the week (my thyroid has made me VERY lethargic, so it's been hard to get APs, but my work schedule is lighter this week, so I will DEF have time to be more active!)
3- Re-start INSANITY with week 2; blog about it.
4- NOOOOO "ITR" POINTS! (in the red)

What I really need to remind myself is that I have VERY few clothes that fit (my bottom, anyways - my top stays roughly the same, regardless of weight, thanks to a REALLY broad build) and that I need to make myself and my health first priority, even if it means pushing through the exhaust that comes for my thyroid to exercise.

Need to go back to trying new foods this week, I've been *kinda* underwhelmed lately!

I think I also need some Green Monsters back in my life. So many GHGs in one shot!

Thursday Menu + Reflection

I figured for a little while - probably another week - I am going to post my daily menus again in an attempt to regain some normalcy! I really need to refocus my WLJ after the last few weeks of making a half-assed attempt at "counting" points. My work schedule is about to thin out a little due to the conclusion of Semi-Annual Sale (yes, I am an out-of-work-teacher selling panties), and I will have MUCH more time to plan and enjoy :-)

I have 27 points a day (officially, at the moment) and I have taken 1 pt from my WPA per day to extend my daily intake. YES, I use all of my WPA, and YES I use all of my AP's. I still lose, as long as I adhere to the program. Tell the nay-syers - IT WORKS!

AM Meal: (6 pts)
Omelette:
3 Egg Whites cooked in
1 tsp evoo
w 1/2 c mushrooms & 1/4 c tomato
1/4 c RF cheddar, melted
coffee w 1/2 c skim & 1 serving FV creamer

AM Snack: (4 pts)
Smoothie:
1 c skim
1/2 c frozen Blueberries
1/4 scoop vanilla protein
1 tsp evoo

Lunch: (9 pts)
1 slice Buffalo Chicken Pizza (from my FAV pizza place. It's good to be home!)
Salad w white balsamic vinegar

PM snack: (2 pts)
Lemon Zest Mini Luna Bar (not my fav flavor, but it came in the package. Will pass on it in the future!)

Dinner (at work): (6 pts)
1/3 c homemade tuna salad (made by dad, so I count the pts as deli-style...reg mayo, but DOES include onions & celery) over
lettuce, tomato, cucumber
with
1 c cherries

Assorted bites for day: 4 fritos and 1 cheeto. Counted as 1 pt.

I hope to earn 4-5 AP's today, Probably 2-3 from doing my INSANITY video, and 1-2 from walking the dog/getting on the treadmill. WI is tomorrow AM so I am trying to stay as LOW SODIUM as possible, and get in LOTS of GHGs! The only one I will miss today is whole grains.

**I should add that when I'm eating "clean" and getting in ALL of my GHGs, my body feels better and I have a TON more energy. I highly recommend evaluating your daily GHG intake and setting a personal goal to work towards!**

Catching up for a hot minute....

Glad to FINALLY be living in NY, although it did derail my Weight Watch-ing for a little while. I gained 2.4 2 weeks ago, and I am struggling to get back on a regular eating/exercise schedule. There are a LOT of temptations here food wise...and I treat myself to trigger foods within reason. I'm DYING to get a bagel this weekend, and top it with some (homemade) egg whites and American cheese (cooked in 1 tsp evoo, of course!) I lost 1.6 last week, so I am making up for the gain, but I am in the red this week.

However, despite PMS week, the in-the-red-ness has been under control (fairly). I am 28 points in the red as of today, and plan to WI Friday morning. I would love to squeak out a .8 loss, so I am going to (try) to get in like 6-9 more APs before then, which will put me at about 19-22 points in the red. NOT horrible. The only day I did NOT make my GHGs was Friday - and I only missed my personal goal (16-19 a day) by 1 that day.

I'm experimenting with the program a little - trying to see if things seem more manageable for me by taking 7 points from my WPA @ the beginning of the week, and applying 1 to each day. Then, instead of having 27 points, I have 28...and 28 WPA for the week. It seems to help with meal planning. That one extra point makes a difference. If I am successful, eventually as my POINTS get lower, I may go to 2 a day, or 2 every other day. We'll have to wait and see. Of course, this is not a WW endorsed thing, it's just me!

Going to head back to posting daily menus. I think this blog was REALLY keeping me focused, and it's important for my WLJ to maintain it. Going to add activity component to each day, as well - plus I need to spend some POSITIVE time on the 'net. LoL

End of Tues/Wednesday's Menu

I finished off Tuesday with a "faux" quesadilla & a side of cucumbers in vinegar. I ended up doing my WI this morning, to get it out of the way while I am packing & moving.

I ended up being down 1.2 today, to make my 5%! I also got my 2nd 5 star. VERY excited. Starting next week, my WI is going to be Thursday (I think).

I am continuing my "try to eat without shopping before I move" project. It's going pretty well. Being VERY inventive, to say the least. Today's menu:

AM: (5pts)
Coffee w 2 tsp splenda +
1/2 c skim milk
2 90-calorie special K bars

AM snack: (5 pts)
Smoothie:
3/4 c almond milk
1/2 c water
1 1/2 c frozen sliced strawberries
1/2 scoop protein powder
1 tsp evoo

Lunch: (5 pts)
Lean Cuisine Chicken Enchilada Suiza w
2 tbs salsa
1 tsp lite sour cream
1 WW Lemon Cake

PM Snack: (6pts)
2 WW Ice Cream Candy Bars (I know, I know...)

Dinner: (6 pts)
Mixed:
Lipton Pasta Sides, Cheddar & broccoli
1 can tuna in water
1/2 c frozen peas
1 c frozen spinach
cooked, ate half with 2 tsp hot sauce

^ that was actually REALLY good, and a big serving. However, I will be HEAVILY bloated tomorrow from all of the sodium. Oh well!!

Tuesday, revamped.

DID make that smoothie last night! I was hungry. I peeked today and it looks like I should be lined up for a loss on Friday. I hate a change in my WI schedule, but I will DEFINITELY be changing it when I head back to NY. Hopefully, I can get over my mental hurdle of night WI and can WI with my BFF @ her home meeting, but we'll see! I may keep my WI in the morning and just go to the meeting w her at night (sorry Kat - we'll find out! LoL).

Tue AM: (8 pts)
coffee w 2 splenda
1/4 c FF H & H
Omelette:
1/4 c onions
1/2 c frozen spinach cooked in
1 tsp canola oil
3 egg whites
100 cal pack of cheese

AM Snack: (2 pts)
90 cal special K bar

Lunch: (12 pts)
2 slices leftover Papa John's Thin Crust Garden Fresh Pizza
2 WW mini cakes
1 c uncooked carrots

PM Snack(not planned): (6 pts. EEEK!)
1/2 c Whole Grain Mac & Cheese
1 WW Ice Cream Candy bar

**Dinner is still up in the air. Not *Quite* sure what I want. May just end up being a GINORMOUS smoothie. Dipping more into APs and hopefully will get in a run tonight!**

Lesson Learned: WL Drugs Don't Work

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Tuesday's Plan

AM: (7 pts)
Coffee w Splenda +
1/4 c FF Half & Half
1/2 c frozen spinach + 1/4 c onion, cooked in
1 tsp evoo w
3 egg whites
100 calorie pack of Cheddar/Jack, melted
1 kashi cookie

AM Snack: (2 pts)
90 calorie sp K bar

Midday: (5 pts)
Potato Nachos (recipe for 4 servings in previous entry)
small potato
1 chicken meatball, divided over potato slices
1/4 c RF cheddar cheese
2 tbs salsa
1/4 c beans, divided over potato slices

.....Leaving it here. May be meeting a friend for lunch, and if so, will be having potato nachos for dinner, and most likely a Chick-Fil-A Salad & Diet Coke for lunch. Will be back tomorrow to make any changes!

Sunday's Menu REALLY looked like + Monday's Menu (UGH!)

As I mentioned earlier, I've been struggling with what I (think) is blood sugar issues, so my Sunday got MESSED up.

AM: (7pts)
Coffee w 2 splenda + 1/4 c FF Half & Half
1 arnold's sandwich thin, toasted, with:
1/4 c onion cooked in 1 tsp EVOO
3 egg whites
100 calorie pack cheese, melted

AM Snack: Smoothie (4 pts)
1/2 c almond milk
1 frozen banana
1 tsp evoo
1/2 scoop vanilla protein powder

Midday (at work): (13 pts! EEEK)
1 Mrs. Fields Sugar Butter Cookie w Sprinkles
1 serving whole grain pasta with:
3 chicken meatballs + 2 tbs sauce

Evening: (17 pts! EEK!)
1 slice leftover Thin Crust Papa John's Garden Fresh Pizza
12 pieces california roll
1 diet coke
Mentos

So I went WAY into APs, but I still made all 19 of my GHGs. Went into Monday with 13 APs left, because I worked a VERY active shift at work and earned some points back for that.

Monday: Woke up and felt craptastic. Ended up going to Urgent Care.
AM: (7pts)
Coffee w 2 splenda + 1/4 c FF H & H
3 hard-boiled Egg Whites (don't like the yolks)
90 calorie special K bar
1 Kashi Cookie
1 tsp honey

Midday: (18 pts! EEEK)
3 slices leftover Papa John's Thin Crust Garden Fresh Pizza
1 WW Ice Cream Candy Bar

Evening: (13pts! EEEK!)
1 serving whole grain Macaroni & Cheese
3 chicken meatballs
hot sauce (buffalo styleee!)
1 c raw carrots

Evening snack (maybe?): ( 4 pts)
Smoothie:
1/2 c almond milk
1 tsp evoo
1/2 scoop protein powder
1 c frozen strawberries

If I do all of this, I will be DONE WPA and 3 into my APs for the week. If not, I will have 1 WPA left. I'm doing a LOT of emotional eating these last few days ::sigh:: At least I'll hit 17/19 GHGs if I eat everything. Will plan better for tomorrow.

WI on Friday this week, bc if all goes well with my blood work from this morning, I am running Race for the Cure Saturday AM! If I'm NOT running, I'm going to get my shirt, number, & race packet anyway. This week is my LAST WI in NC! HOORAY!

Sunday's Menu: Planned for 25 pts + 2 WPA

Saturday went pretty well. I edited to include the additional WPA I used. I start Sunday with 22 WPA remaining for the week.

AM: (7pts)
1 c iced coffee w 2 splenda +
1/4 c FF Half & Half
Egg Sandwhich:
1 Arnold's WG Sandwich Thin
3 Egg Whites + 1/4 c onions cooked in
1 tsp evoo
topped with
1/3 c RF melted cheddar jack cheese

AM Snack: Smoothie (3pts)
1/2 c almond milk
1 frozen banana
1/2 scoop protein powder
water to fill to desired level

Lunch (at work): (5 pts)
Lean Cuisine Chicken Enchilada Suiza (Chix Ench + Rice in Sauce - YUM!)
1 c raw baby carrots

Afternoon snack: (2 pts)
Special K Bar - Strawberry

Dinner: (9 pts)
1 serving WG pasta
1/2 c tomato sauce
3 chicken meatballs (unusual, I know, but trying to eat ALL of my food store in the house with the upcoming move!)
salad, dressed with:
1 tsp evoo + red wine vinegar

Planned for 18/19 GHG's. Currently short 1 milk product, perhaps will work it in??? Hoping for no additional sugar issues, as I've worked a LOT more carbs back into my diet. Either way, will be carrying mentos and an extra cereal bar or two for emergencies.

Saturday's Menu: Planned for 25 pts + 4 WPA

Morning: (7.5 pts - I typically eat better in the morning, but save food for after WI)
Coffee w 2 splenda +
1/4 c FF Half & Half
Special K 90 Calorie Bar
**Blood Sugar Recovery**
2 tbs honey (from bottle, estimate - may have been less)
Special K 90 Calorie Bar

Lunch: (10pts)
1 c uncooked carrots
2 slices of thin crust, Papa John's Pizza (Garden Fresh Variety)
8 oz Diet Coke

Midday Snack: (5pts)
Smoothie:
1/2 c almond milk
1 banana
1 tsp EVOO
1/2 scoop chocolate protein powder
2 frozen strawberries
add water to desired level

Dinner: (6.5 pts)
"Chicken Burger"
1 WG Arnold's Sandwich Thin
3 oz Raw Ground Chicken, mixed with:
1/2 tsp EVOO, garlic, + 2 tsp Old-Fashioned Oats
Topped with:
onion cooked in 1/2 tsp EVOO
1/8 cup reduced fat cheddar
Side:
1 serving "Garden Medley" Vegetables - Green Giant, frozen variety

**No APs scheduled, depends on how I feel later today. Still feeling VERY low blood sugar-y**

EDIT: Also ate 2 WW Ice Cream Bars at the end of the night, when my sugar felt low again. This means that 13 WPA were used, total. I hit all 19 of my Good Health Guidelines! YAAAAY!

LONG POST! Review of a Week/This Week's Challenge/Blood Sugar

So I lost .8 today, but it was a TOTALLY undeserved .8. STILL, I'll take it! I was MAJORLY in the red this week. Are rather carelessly, which started with the feeling of having low blood sugar Sun/Mon/Tue. It made me overindulge in carbs.

1. 16-19 GHGs Daily: 3/7 days. Boohiss. This goal stands for next week. MUST have at least 5 days.
2. 4 Runs + Wii Fit: Got in 3 runs. I think right now with my time constraints, this is all I can *REALLY* manage. We'll see how it goes this week with only 1 day of work.
3. DO NOT GO OVER WPA + AP. -> FAIL. BIIIIG FAIL.
4. 20 APs. Also a fail. I'm thinking maybe that for now, this goal is *too* high for my lifesytle.

Still don't know how I lost .8. I decided that after last week's DISASTER, I am going to post my daily menus, and then whether or not I adhered to them, on the following day.

The Challenge lies in this: I am moving in a week, and NEED to eat from the food supply I have in my house. Hopefully I can come up with some creative menus to get all of my GHGs in. This means probably eating more processed food, but I have virtually no budget, and don't want to have to pack up food to bring back to NY - or discard it!

Blood Sugar: I'm having what I'm GUESSING to be low blood sugar issues. It's really scary. I have no health benefits and cannot afford a local clinic (we don't have free care in my region). Today, after WI, I had a particularly scary episode. I always bring my iced coffee & a breakfast bar of some kind to WI. I WI, and then if I lose, I allow myself a SMALL non-food purchase as my reward.

I went into Ulta to look for a nail polish. While there, I began sweating profusely - I wasn't sure if I needed to pee, vomit, sit down, or poo. I felt faint. Thankfully, I was only 5 mins from home. I flew home, where my body had begun shaking. I guzzled approximately 2 tbs of honey from the container - which was difficult to hold in place due to the shaking. I ate another cereal bar, and had a few BIG glasses of water. The shaking subsided. The exhaustion has NOT gone away.

I ordered a large, thin crust, garden fresh pizza from Papa Johns & had 2 slices for lunch, along with 1 c of raw carrots. I'm hoping that the carbs in the pizza will help me through the rest of the day.

I'm REALLY upset about working these carbs back IN to my diet, after only having 1 Whole Grain carb 1 meal/day for WEEKS. Carbs are a HUGE trigger for me. But for now, while I can't afford to see a doctor, I need to work carbs back into each meal. :-( Hopefully when I get back to NY in a week, I can work out a payment plan and someone to take me for blood work - but in the meantime will use one of my mom's sugar testing machines/kits.

I'm very scared, considering I have a 5K next weekend. Considering picking up some GU energy gels for the race - so that I can grab some quick carbs/sugar if I start to feel woozy on the course. Hoping it's a cool morning.

*I have previous experience with GU from training for a Marathon in 2008. They are for long-distance running (usually). I love the Chocolate Outrage - tastes like chocolate icing, as well as the Vanilla Bean. They USED to carry a yummy raspberry as well.

Reflection on a Week

Had a GOOD WI on Sat! Lost 2.4. I expected to lose, but I didn't think it would be THAT good. I lost 2 pts due to a lifestyle change, and I think that made ALL of the difference. Plus, I've been eating way cleaner. Looking back @ last week's goals:

1. GHGs: 16-19 DAILY. (There can be up to 20 with the optional milk serving)
2. Earn 20 APs
3. Do 4 training runs for my upcoming 5K.
4. EAT CLEAN! (minimum amount of processed foods & refined sugars)
5. DO NOT go over WPA + AP earned (I've been WAY in the red the past two weeks)

#1. I was able to get at LEAST 16 GHGs for 5 out of 7 days! Woohoo! Aiming for 6 this week
#2. Earned about 16 APs, so room for improvement there.
#3. Only got in 2 training runs before WI
#4. Goes along well w GHGs. Will leave this one out next week.
#5. Was in the red about 10 pts after WPA + AP earned. MUST correct. Can't believe I still lost!

I've been hitting refined sugars like CRAZY this week, because I am feeling very weak/like I'm going to pass out. I've been CRAVING them. I'm done with my WPA/APs already. Need to make it till Friday PM under remaining points and earn about 7 more APs to break even. I'll do it, though, for sure. Whether or not I will lose with all of those processed foods is another issue ENTIRELY.

Getting my hair cut SHORT before I move back to NY. I worry that my "fat girl" face won't work well with my style. But it grows back, right???

End of an Era (Yogurt)

I believe I stated once before that I'm like a binge-drinker with yogurt.

I either:
A) Eat it every day for a while
or
B) Am so sick of it I don't eat it for about a year

Well, I've been eating yogurt (all KINDS of varities) for about 6 weeks now, and I have HAD it.

In my refrigerator, I have 1 LARGE container of LF Vanilla yogurt. There are probably about 6 servings left in there. I can't wait to be done with it.

Although, I have been able to experiment with it in different ways, and I LOVE LOVE LOVE overnight oats. Very filling, I've been making very simple version of it:

1/3 c Old Fashioned Oats
2 pts worth of Yogurt (either individually packaged or from a container)
freshen with splash of skim in the AM
top with cinnamon

Mmmm. The texture reminds me a LOT of rice pudding, which I LOVE LOVE LOVE.

Not quite sure what will be next in the world of breakfast, but it's coming soon.

THANK GOODNESS.

Yogurt, out.

New Thing of the Week: Poppin' Fresh

This week, on a whim, I tried some Popchips! I hadn't intended to buy them, but saw them while in Target and they sounded familiar, so I figured I would give it a go.



I tried the Whole Grain, as well as the BBQ Potato.

Whole Grain was eh. Alone, I didn't really enjoy them, but with copious amounts of Whole Foods' Hummus, I adored them - which really means, I adored the hummus. The flavor of the WG Popchips just fell flat for me - though they were low in points for a serving (2), satisfied the need for a crunch, and allowed me to check off WG on my GHG list.

BBQ was trouble. SO delicious. I could eat the whole bag (which is 3 servings) in ONE sitting. The BBQ flavor was great, the crunch was satisfying, and they reminded me of Glenny's BBQ Soy Crisps. I'm debating whether I will be buying these again - it could EASILY be a trigger food for me, they are so good.

HOWEVER, I would seriously consider buying them again to pack in a lunch - aka eating them somewhere that I will NOT have to worry about swallowing the whole bag while I sit on the couch.

The thing that DOES really excite me about these is that when I move back into my dad's house, I think these WILL go over well with my dad and brother, and I can sub them in for regular potato chips while grocery shopping.

Score!

Weekly Goals

Each week, when I weigh in, I set some weekly goals for myself. Though I will not be weighing in until tomorrow night (my normal day is Saturday), I have set my goals for Su-Friday. I decided I would start sharing these and report on them after my WI.

1. GHGs: 16-19 DAILY. (There can be up to 20 with the optional milk serving)
2. Earn 20 APs
3. Do 4 training runs for my upcoming 5K.
4. EAT CLEAN! (minimum amount of processed foods & refined sugars)
5. DO NOT go over WPA + AP earned (I've been WAY in the red the past two weeks)

All easily attainable goals - part of a LIFESTYLE change.

Another lifestyle change: now that my dance year is over and I have cut down hours at one of my two remaining jobs, I lose TWO WHOLE POINTS in my day-to-day - and that's without losing weight! I'm going from being on my feet about 40 hours a week, to being on my feet about 10-15 hours a week. This means I now have 25 points to work with. Hoping to maintain/small loss tomorrow @ WI so I don't go down to 24 points - yet. I need to adjust to 25!

Scheduled for some REALLY CLEAN eating today - plan to do the same tomorrow/for the rest of the week.

Yesterday was a DISASTER, food-wise, despite my planning. But I enjoyed it, thoroughly....At least it was an active day...I move on.

Time to create my lunch and get ready for work today - I really wish I'd had the foresight to take today off - bc I didn't, I am working 11 days in a row over 3 jobs! This makes it HARD to not eat processed - processed is MUCH easier to pack!

Confession Connection

It's been a bingey week for me. I have started off OK almost every day, and it takes a turn @ about 10 PM, when I'm feeling exhausted and stressed about the next day. I'm in a hugely transitional emotional state while I prepare to move back to NY. I purchased (and ate) Reduced Fat Birthday Cake Ice Cream and Rainbow Chip icing. I did NOT accurately count points on these and am in the red. I also ate a Kashi cookie, BBQ popchips, and a mini pizza with a TON of cheese that I made tonight. I feel disgustingly fully.

Damn you, emotional eating.

At least I've still been active this week! 3/4 runs in, daily crunches, lots of water, lots of time on my feet & lean protein. Hoping to maintain @ my WI on Sunday. A loss would be lovely, but is probably unlikely.
Dinner tonight (Something Morgan Spurlock's book has NOT ruined)That would be a grilled chicken sandwich, Diet Dr. Pepper, and a fruit cup. A low-points, filling meal. I <3>

Plan for tomorrow during recital? Drink lots of water, eat SUPER clean, and get my run in when I get home. I will be spending 12 hours out of the house tomorrow, so I will have to pack it all. I want to be squeaky clean, get in GHGs, and keep moving around allll day (this will be easy, I'll be dancing in the wings while my kiddos are on stage).

Next week, I SERIOUSLY need to stay away from refined sugars.....they trigger SO much!

Don't Eat this Cat (or Dog)

So, Mr. Spurlock's book seems to be turning me off more and more from fast food. I didn't eat a lot of it to begin with, but MAN....Here is the excerpt that immediately made me call my mother, father, and brother to share the horrifying details (not for the weak-stomached). I am sharing this so that perhaps if you fight with fast food temptations, this will help to deter it.

"In an amazing display of collective insanity, the meat producers of this country are feeding all sorts of animals to the animals they feed to us. Dead pigs and dead horses are ground up for cattle feed, and so are dead chickens. A lot of chicken manure gets mixed up into the feed in the process, so the cows are not only eating chicken, but chicken shit, which can spread salmonella, tapeworms, and chemicals like arsenic. Not only are cows fed dead chickens, but chickens are fed dead cows. (Cue "The Circle of Life" from The Lion King.)

You want to hear something really disgusting? The cattle industry buys millions of dead cats and dogs from animal shelters every year, then feeds them to the cattle who end up in your burger." -Morgan Spurlock, Don't Eat This Book

I was never a huge beef eater, but I am pretty sure that I'll never eat anything beef based again...especially from a fast food chain. My precious Chick-Fil-A and its cows, that encourage me to "Eet mor Chikn" seem REALLY brilliant right now.

I can't wait till I have gainful employment. I am SO going organic.

Sometimes, I feel like this is my life.

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Turkey Sausage Cheddar Frittata

Mom's in town and I wanted to try a Diabetic-Friendly recipe for her. I put it in my recipe builder, and away I went:

Health.com's Veggie Sausage-Cheddar Frittata: http://recipes.health.com/recipes/1733679-veggie-sausage-cheddar-frittata

My modifications were as follows:
1. Cut recipe in half (to yield only 4 servings)
2. Omit veggie sausage
3. Use 3 oz of Sweet Italian Turkey Sausage, casings removed, crumbled, browned with veggies
4. Omit salt/pepper
5. Use 1 "twist" Sea Salt upon serving

It was DELICIOUS. I'm satisfied after having this and 1/2 of a LARGE sweet potato, sliced like fries and cooked in 1 tsp evoo.

I think if you wanted to try it, you could easily add 1 or 2 more veggies to satisfy your taste/palette. You can also opt to cook the mushrooms/peppers in EVOO or Canola instead of cooking spray to get in some healthy oil.

This one is getting committed to the recipe box. So quick and easy! :-D

An Old Favorite, by Request...

This recipe comes from a WW cook book I purchased in 2006, and made frequently at my low-weight. It gives you the taste of nachos at a lower points-cost.


Microwave Potato Nachos
You need:
1 large baking potato, scrubbed
1/4 tsp ground cumin (I have be known to make this recipe without this, so if you don't have it, feel free to omit)
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp freshly ground pepper
1/3 c bottled chunky salsa
1/2 cup canned black beans, rinsed and drained
1/3 c shredded reduced-fat cheddar cheese
1 scallion, sliced

1. Cut the potato into approx 3/8" thick slices; arrange in a single layer in a microwavable fish. Sprinkle the potatoes with the cumin, salt, and pepper. Cover with plastic wrap, then prick a few holes in the plastic to vent. Microwave on High until tender, about 6 minutes.

2. Spoon the salsa over the potatoes; sprinkle with the beans and cheese. Microwave, uncovered, on Medium until the cheese is mentled, 1:30 - 2 min. Sprinkle the scallion and serve at once.

3 nachos per serving, 2 pt per serving, 4 servings. Tonight I chose to split it into two servings (one for me and one for Mom @ 5 points each. I added 2 oz of finely chopped roasted chicken breast, and on my plate, I added 2 tbs of lite sour cream, for a total of a 6 pt meal that hits a LOT of GHGs. I also add Cayenne and Garlic powders to taste).

What a great, filling, Mexican-y dinner! Noms!

I fought TOM, and TOM won!

Weighed in today and was up .4, but after a LOUSY week - I'll take it! I'm leaving this one to TOM, dumb luck, and eating LOTS of GHGs. I had fun a lot of this week, anyway. Cookie dough, brownies, chips, all kiiinds of refined sugars. But, it is over and done.

I'm considering this a bigger victory than I should be. I bought myself a pair of Skull Candy ear buds to motivate myself to improve, work harder, and track, track, track this week.

My mom is visiting, so we will eat out a bit - but she is diabetic, so it will feel great to be able to make smart choices with her!

I have TWO new things to try this week: a new recipe for a Turkey Sausage Frittata (will share with pictures after eating/cooking) and a Breakfast Cookie.

I look forward to both. Will post my reviews at a later date!
-KJ

Don't Eat this Book

At one of my WW meetings, a member said she was (RE)reading a book by Morgan Spurlock, the man who made Supersize Me. Another (lifetime) member said he owns the book and rereads it frequently - he hit goal 20 years ago and looks fantastic!

So, I signed my (shrinking) butt on to Amazon and found a copy for 25 cents. It's been enlightening, despite the fact that it was published 5 years ago.

I'm reading this book for a number of reasons, but the primary reason is that I'm trying more and more to move away from processed foods in my diet, (not "DIET," just meaning my daily intake) and something tells me Mr. Spurlock has a lot to share about what goes IN to all of these Fast Foods. I only eat fast food about once a week, it's usually Chick-Fil-A or Wendy's, but if I could get it down to once a month or once every other month that would be fab.

I'm posting to share the following excerpt from The Washington Monthly via Spurlock's Don't Eat this Book.
" If a person drives instead of walks for only 20 minutes each day for a year, he will store about 26,000 calories, thus gaining about 5 pounds. Researchers at the University of Minnesota estimated that over a year, those who spend only five minutes each workday sending emails to coworkers instead of visiting their offices will gain an extra pound. Most of us gain weight this way, a few grams a day, a few pounds a year - but enough to shorten our lives."


Pretty scary, no?

New Thing of the Week: It's Greek to Me

As part of my Weight Loss Journey, I've committed myself to try something new every week. Previously, when I was on Weight Watchers, I didn't QUITE commit to this the last time I did WW, and was easily bored. I am being proactive about this now! I will post each time I try my new thing.

This week:
Chobani Greek Yogurt - Strawberry


I've heard such great things about Greek Yogurt and Overnight Oats on the WW Boards (WWB from here on) that I decided I would make my own concoction.

I used:
1 6oz container of Chobani Strawberry Yogurt +
1/2 cup oats
Placed in the fridge overnight.

In the morning at work, I freshened it up with a splash of NF milk.

Verdict:

UGH. I just finished eating it and feel ill. I ate it over the course of about 1.5 hours, because I just didn't like it. BUT, being at work and having budgeted POINTS for it, I had to eat it. It was just TOO thick for me, and extremely heavy.

I really wanted to like it due to the nutritional values, but this is a FAIL for me. 2nd time tried, 2nd time I didn't like.

Oh well. On to scoping out next week's "New" thing, I suppose.

A Binge to the tune of 41.5 Points

Yesterday was horrendous. I couldn't run due to tremendous back pain = no APs. I couldn't do crunches for the same reason.

I also decided (well, PMS helped me decide) to not ONLY overeat by 41.5 POINTS but to make the following LOUSY decisions:

• 16 points were Brownies
• 12.5 points were a Happy Meal - and I NEVER eat McDonalds
• 3 points were Sun Chips
• 10 points were two EXTRA, unplanned pieces of Papa John's Pizza @ Lunch

All super-processed, horrible for me, and containing NO nutritional value.

Not quite sure how I am going to recover, other than to eat REALLY clean for the next few days, and hopefully earn about 20 Activity Points...then I'll be about 21.5 points in the hole.

I guess the upside is that I feel like CRAP today: I have horrible indigestion, a bit of bloating, and a general "acidy" feeling in my throat. Not in the LEAST bit fun.

Back is feeling a bit better, hoping for a run today.

Need to move along.....

The Inaugural Post

Who am I?

I'm 27, a New Yorker born & raised, living in North Carolina, but returning to New York in June.

In 2007, I was a mere 7 pounds away from my GOAL WEIGHT. I started Weight Watchers at a whopping 230 pounds on my 5' 6.5" frame in 2005. I was training for a marathon. I felt good. I ate a lot. I weighed 162 pounds.

After the marathon in January 2008, running got pushed to the side. There were a LOT of emotional events leading up to the marathon that I didn't deal with. I kept eating like I was running. 170 pounds.

I was teaching (finally) in a leave replacement position, attending grad school FT, and working two part-time jobs. I worked for 6 months in the schools, and decided I was going to move to North Carolina, where there were more opportunities for teachers.

August 2008, I moved to North Carolina. 180 pounds. Found a job teaching Kindergarten, teaching dance at 2 different dance studios. Incredibly lonely on the weekends.

Lost my teaching job in June 2009, due to budget cuts. Apply for over 175 teaching jobs, do not get a single interview. I run out of money by January 2010. I begin working 3 jobs, approximately 60 hours a week, to pay the bills.

Between August 2008 and November 2009, I gain 22 more pounds. I walked back into Weight Watchers November 2009, at 202 pounds. Miserable.

I recommit to Weight Watchers in April of 2010, as I prepare to head back home to NY.

Inspired by the boards and blogs of other Weight Watchers, I decided to make a WLJ blog.

So here I am.

This time, I'm not stopping till I hit my GOAL....