So, I'm 30 P+ in the red, roughly. This is why I HATE not weighing in. It is NOT a free pass, and I'm totally emotionally eating today, and now I feel full, am too tired to run, and pissed at myself about it.
Boston was wonderful, though I definitely overate a few times - but surprisingly enough, NOT the night that I went to the Melting Pot.
But here I am, back at my grind. Today was long and exhausting. With a faculty meeting after school, I missed my afternoon window to go to the gym before it got crowded, and now I'm just too tired for a few miles at night. So, tomorrow, either at night or in the afternoon, immediately after my students' Musical rehearsal, I need to head right to the gym and get 3.5 in. I think this will help me to get back on track.
P is away. He left today, and it's making me really cranky to think that I can't see him again until he returns on Saturday. I think I need to recognize this feeling so I can work on running and eating properly this week. I'm afraid to even PEEK at the damage I have done on the scale, but I am going to try to eat my best tomorrow, and then see the scale on Wednesday for my normal mid-week peek.
I FEEL LIKE CRAP. SELF, do you hear you??? When you eat like crap, you FEEL like crap. I came home from work today and literally inhaled everything. ::sigh::
Motivation, come back to me. I can do this, I can do this, I can do this....
C'mon...(Dealing with lots of emotional stress from going back to work this week - I wish I was working in a better place.....)
Monday, February 28, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
I'm going to give this a go....hopefully, this week.
So, I'm not going to WI this week, for sure. I've been mostly OP but now am in the red. I'm flying to Boston later this evening to see one of my BFFs in Boston and spend my last few days there. She knows I am on WW and is always very supportive of anything I choose to do, so she said I could go WI if I wanted to, but I think I'm going to stay away from the scale this week, in order to NOT beat myself up.
Yesterday I had mozzarella cheese fries from the diner, which I have been craving FOREVER. I'm glad I had them. I ate about half of them, tracked it, and now am moving on to bigger and better things. Craving satisfied.
I pulled out my "P+ Getting Started" book today, and opened to page #60 (for all of you Meetings Members, I try to revisit this book when feeling a little bit unsure/out of control).
There is a breakdown there, of how many P+ you should eat for:
Breakfast
Lunch
Dinner
Snack #1
Snack #2
So, I am going to try it. I'm honestly unsure of how to distribute my P+ now that I am only getting 29 (which is the lowest possible) and I think that this will help me a little bit. Looking at this already, I see that I need to be eating more P+ for breakfast on weekdays, and a few less on the weekends (but on the weekends I have fruit for snack, mostly).
For 29 P+, it breaks down like this:
Breakfast: 5 P+
Lunch: 8 P+
Dinner: 11 P+
Snack #1: 3 P+
Snack #2: 2 P+
Of course, if this does NOT satisfy me, I'm not going to do it, but it seems reasonable, ESPECIALLY going away somewhere, and not having complete control over what I am eating.
I'll be away from blogging for a few days, so I leave you with this....and if you sent me your blog link - I will add/update when I return!
Yesterday I had mozzarella cheese fries from the diner, which I have been craving FOREVER. I'm glad I had them. I ate about half of them, tracked it, and now am moving on to bigger and better things. Craving satisfied.
I pulled out my "P+ Getting Started" book today, and opened to page #60 (for all of you Meetings Members, I try to revisit this book when feeling a little bit unsure/out of control).
There is a breakdown there, of how many P+ you should eat for:
Breakfast
Lunch
Dinner
Snack #1
Snack #2
So, I am going to try it. I'm honestly unsure of how to distribute my P+ now that I am only getting 29 (which is the lowest possible) and I think that this will help me a little bit. Looking at this already, I see that I need to be eating more P+ for breakfast on weekdays, and a few less on the weekends (but on the weekends I have fruit for snack, mostly).
For 29 P+, it breaks down like this:
Breakfast: 5 P+
Lunch: 8 P+
Dinner: 11 P+
Snack #1: 3 P+
Snack #2: 2 P+
Of course, if this does NOT satisfy me, I'm not going to do it, but it seems reasonable, ESPECIALLY going away somewhere, and not having complete control over what I am eating.
I'll be away from blogging for a few days, so I leave you with this....and if you sent me your blog link - I will add/update when I return!
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Calling All Bloggers...& the dreaded "D" word
So, this morning I sat down to read all of the blogs that I am linked to on my blog - and found that I need to do some "housekeeping" on my blog. I'm going to remove any of the bloggers that haven't updated since 2010...and ALSO, if any of you follow me and would like YOUR blog linked here, please let me know ASAP - I'm going to make the changes later this week.
Now, on to the "D" word. Diet. I've heard it being thrown around like CRAZY on the boards and in meetings this week, and honestly, it makes me cringe.
I hate the word "diet," in 99% of all conversations. I need to make it clear to everyone now that WW is NOT a diet. A diet is something uncomfortable, that makes you cranky, and that leaves you constantly depriving yourself of things that you like to eat. ALL.THE.TIME.
Weight Watchers is not a diet, in that, if you do it right, you plan and you portion, you can still eat everything you want....For example...Since P+ started, I have eaten the following things that you would NEVER see on a "diet":::runs to previous 3-month tracker to look:::
-oreo truffles
-chocolate frosting (yes, out of the jar)
-rainbow chip frosting
-cupcakes
-real ice cream with sprinkles
-buffalo chicken
-cheesecake
-frozen pizza
-italian bread
-pizza (restaurant style)
-snickers
-tortellini soup
-white chocolate cookies & cream fudge (homemade...noms)
-friendly's Happy Ending Sundae
-Peanut Butter M & M's
-Papa John's Pizza
-cheez-its
-REAL bagels
-beer
-wine
-Buffalo Calamari
-Cake
-burritos
-doritos
-potato chips
-dip
-stromboli
etc, etc, etc
What I'm saying is....people, it's NOT a diet! I still eat EVERYTHING I want! If you are depriving yourself, you are doing something WRONG! Weight Watchers is teaching me how to make portion sizes, yes..and I feel this is a very important component of the program. When I was younger, I thought "satisfied" was "FULL." No matter I was so fat and lethargic all of the time - I was overeating EVERY time I was eating.
Your "diet" is what you eat everyday. Your intake. It is NOT WW. WW is not a diet.
Don't deprive yourselves! Make an effort to enjoy your food & indulge. I pack ONE sweet treat in my lunch every day - this week, it is going to be Hershey's Cookies & Cream Kisses.
I thought this entry would be more intelligible...but it's not. Sorry. Just don't say "diet."
Now, on to the "D" word. Diet. I've heard it being thrown around like CRAZY on the boards and in meetings this week, and honestly, it makes me cringe.
I hate the word "diet," in 99% of all conversations. I need to make it clear to everyone now that WW is NOT a diet. A diet is something uncomfortable, that makes you cranky, and that leaves you constantly depriving yourself of things that you like to eat. ALL.THE.TIME.
Weight Watchers is not a diet, in that, if you do it right, you plan and you portion, you can still eat everything you want....For example...Since P+ started, I have eaten the following things that you would NEVER see on a "diet":::runs to previous 3-month tracker to look:::
-oreo truffles
-chocolate frosting (yes, out of the jar)
-rainbow chip frosting
-cupcakes
-real ice cream with sprinkles
-buffalo chicken
-cheesecake
-frozen pizza
-italian bread
-pizza (restaurant style)
-snickers
-tortellini soup
-white chocolate cookies & cream fudge (homemade...noms)
-friendly's Happy Ending Sundae
-Peanut Butter M & M's
-Papa John's Pizza
-cheez-its
-REAL bagels
-beer
-wine
-Buffalo Calamari
-Cake
-burritos
-doritos
-potato chips
-dip
-stromboli
etc, etc, etc
What I'm saying is....people, it's NOT a diet! I still eat EVERYTHING I want! If you are depriving yourself, you are doing something WRONG! Weight Watchers is teaching me how to make portion sizes, yes..and I feel this is a very important component of the program. When I was younger, I thought "satisfied" was "FULL." No matter I was so fat and lethargic all of the time - I was overeating EVERY time I was eating.
Your "diet" is what you eat everyday. Your intake. It is NOT WW. WW is not a diet.
Don't deprive yourselves! Make an effort to enjoy your food & indulge. I pack ONE sweet treat in my lunch every day - this week, it is going to be Hershey's Cookies & Cream Kisses.
I thought this entry would be more intelligible...but it's not. Sorry. Just don't say "diet."
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Down .8!!!
Somehow, I pulled it out and managed a loss. I wasn't even going to WI. I always WI on my Wii in the morning of my WI, and it showed me as being down, so I figured, what the hell, just do it.
I am SO happy, though baffled. With the amount of P+ I was in the red, I figured that one of two things happened:
1. My Vday dinner was NOT as many P+ as I counted it as.
2. I am burning WAY more calories/APs running than I think I am.
So, it is a NEW week. I think my plan for this week is going to be as follows:
-Save as many WPA as possible for trip to Boston.
-WI Wed AM, as I won't be in town for my normal Saturday meeting, and I won't have a car to get to a meeting while in Boston (which is really a suburb of Boston, where one of my BFFs lives)
Now, while I am TERRIBLY excited to go see this BFF and her apartment, and her darling BF, I am kind of sad that I won't be attending my usual Saturday meeting. I LOVE this time during my week.
It's time for me to sit there with my NF latte (either from Dunkin or Starbucks, depending on the week), eat my morning fruit, reflect on my past week in my WLJ, and plan for the following week. I buy the "Ultimate 3 Month Tracker" book since P+ started, and I find it's the best way for me to track - it also has a page where you can outline your WLJ goals for the week, as well as exercise, obstacles, and how to overcome them. I am a VERY visual person, so this is GREAT for me.
Lately, I roll with a posse @ WW, and I love this. My local BFF (since like, FOREVER) has been coming the last few Saturday mornings, and I just got my brother on the WW train, too. I'm so happy to have them there with me - and feel like, we're in this together, even though in a way, I still consider the meeting to be "me" time.
I also ALWAYS use my phone during the meeting to plan, which may or may not be rude (but I don't think leader Marianne minds, as I always contribute something to the mtg...a teacher cannot keep her mouth shut! LoL). I log on to WW.com and update my stats. Then, I text one of my sorority sisters living in Cleveland who is ALSO on WW and WI on Saturday to tell her my progress....
Then, I come home and have my delicious, usual weekend breakfast, and sit here and blog. It's really all quite therapeutic and has become a staple of my WLJ. So, whether you read regularly or not, blog or not, I thank you - bc I enjoy reading what y'all write, and knowing that someone out there is getting something.
I also someday hope that I can have my own WW meeting after reaching my goal...Only time shall tell!
I am SO happy, though baffled. With the amount of P+ I was in the red, I figured that one of two things happened:
1. My Vday dinner was NOT as many P+ as I counted it as.
2. I am burning WAY more calories/APs running than I think I am.
So, it is a NEW week. I think my plan for this week is going to be as follows:
-Save as many WPA as possible for trip to Boston.
-WI Wed AM, as I won't be in town for my normal Saturday meeting, and I won't have a car to get to a meeting while in Boston (which is really a suburb of Boston, where one of my BFFs lives)
Now, while I am TERRIBLY excited to go see this BFF and her apartment, and her darling BF, I am kind of sad that I won't be attending my usual Saturday meeting. I LOVE this time during my week.
It's time for me to sit there with my NF latte (either from Dunkin or Starbucks, depending on the week), eat my morning fruit, reflect on my past week in my WLJ, and plan for the following week. I buy the "Ultimate 3 Month Tracker" book since P+ started, and I find it's the best way for me to track - it also has a page where you can outline your WLJ goals for the week, as well as exercise, obstacles, and how to overcome them. I am a VERY visual person, so this is GREAT for me.
Lately, I roll with a posse @ WW, and I love this. My local BFF (since like, FOREVER) has been coming the last few Saturday mornings, and I just got my brother on the WW train, too. I'm so happy to have them there with me - and feel like, we're in this together, even though in a way, I still consider the meeting to be "me" time.
I also ALWAYS use my phone during the meeting to plan, which may or may not be rude (but I don't think leader Marianne minds, as I always contribute something to the mtg...a teacher cannot keep her mouth shut! LoL). I log on to WW.com and update my stats. Then, I text one of my sorority sisters living in Cleveland who is ALSO on WW and WI on Saturday to tell her my progress....
Then, I come home and have my delicious, usual weekend breakfast, and sit here and blog. It's really all quite therapeutic and has become a staple of my WLJ. So, whether you read regularly or not, blog or not, I thank you - bc I enjoy reading what y'all write, and knowing that someone out there is getting something.
I also someday hope that I can have my own WW meeting after reaching my goal...Only time shall tell!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
I might still be able to save my week...
I didn't get to run last night. I was disappointed, but I am currently on an antibiotic that is completely sucking the life out of me! I've been napping like crazy and it really sucks, bc running is good for my sanity. I'm going to be 2 miles short on my week this week, but I'm going to have to suck that up and deal with it. I should have no problem getting in 3 - 3.5 later tonight...around 7:30.
I got on the scale again today, which I NEVER do...but I went to the bathroom today - which I ALSO realized I'd hadn't done in 2-3 days...
And now the scale says I'm only up .7....TOM is ending, as well...so the bloating is going down and the back pain is subsiding. I'm drinking water like CRAZY today, and going to plan a very Power-Food-Full day for tomorrow. So far today, I'm doing REALLY well on my GHGs, with the exception of my healthy oils - but I plan to get both of them in at dinner, by hell or high water.
I figured, maybe I can "save" this week by just making it an maintenance week/small gain Sat AM. I just REALLY need to watch my sodium and all of the little "extras." I think aside from the emotional eating, the one thing I was REALLY missing out on planning this week was my afternoon snack, planning what to cook for dinner ahead of time. I find I do best that way.
I think I may have also been doing some emotional eating, over the following statement made by one of my students on Monday...
"Ms. J, You're too heavy."
Umm, ok kid, I'm 20 lbs thinner since the beginning of the year - and yet, NOW, in the past 3 weeks, not one but TWO students have called me "fat." I know they're 5 and 6, but not only do I find this incredibly rude - but it takes me back to my childhood. I was ALWAYS the "fat, smart" kid and was teased, beaten up, and generally bullied bc of it. Tears spring to my eyes STILL when kids say this to me....and it's hard to let go of it - obviously if I am still thinking about it today....
ugh. Anyway, I'm running later tonight. I'm doing it today...and tomorrow, I have a run and get to see my P :-) That'll get me through the LAST day before winter break!
I got on the scale again today, which I NEVER do...but I went to the bathroom today - which I ALSO realized I'd hadn't done in 2-3 days...
And now the scale says I'm only up .7....TOM is ending, as well...so the bloating is going down and the back pain is subsiding. I'm drinking water like CRAZY today, and going to plan a very Power-Food-Full day for tomorrow. So far today, I'm doing REALLY well on my GHGs, with the exception of my healthy oils - but I plan to get both of them in at dinner, by hell or high water.
I figured, maybe I can "save" this week by just making it an maintenance week/small gain Sat AM. I just REALLY need to watch my sodium and all of the little "extras." I think aside from the emotional eating, the one thing I was REALLY missing out on planning this week was my afternoon snack, planning what to cook for dinner ahead of time. I find I do best that way.
I think I may have also been doing some emotional eating, over the following statement made by one of my students on Monday...
"Ms. J, You're too heavy."
Umm, ok kid, I'm 20 lbs thinner since the beginning of the year - and yet, NOW, in the past 3 weeks, not one but TWO students have called me "fat." I know they're 5 and 6, but not only do I find this incredibly rude - but it takes me back to my childhood. I was ALWAYS the "fat, smart" kid and was teased, beaten up, and generally bullied bc of it. Tears spring to my eyes STILL when kids say this to me....and it's hard to let go of it - obviously if I am still thinking about it today....
ugh. Anyway, I'm running later tonight. I'm doing it today...and tomorrow, I have a run and get to see my P :-) That'll get me through the LAST day before winter break!
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
HORRIBLE Mid Week peek and feel like killing EVERYONE.
My peek today showed up 1.5 GAIN GAIN GAIN.
I'm out of control this week....food-wise, and emotionally. There's not much to eat in my house, and having a sinus infection and a million rehearsals for my students' performance of Seussical Jr, I don't have the energy to shop properly...but to be fair, my father and brother haven't shopped either. ANNOYING. I need a sick day from work, but my bosses are shitty, and I will HEAR it if I take a sick day before a break.
I'm over my P+ AGAIN today, this is the 2nd day in a row...all of my WPA/AP are gone. I have TOM and the hunger just doesn't STOP with TOM. No matter what I eat, when, I want more, more, more...I am disgusted with myself. I am about 30 P+ in the red right now, and not really hitting my GHGs the way I want to. And I still need to eat dinner tonight. This cycle of OP2 Overcome is SUCKING!
I'm also SO cranky. I am two instructional days and a Seussical Rehearsal away from my winter break...my students are driving me up the wall...and between my TOM hormones, crazy students, exhaustion, and TOM back pain....I feel like crying today. Or ripping someone's head off.
I'm not used to this. Usually this is the week BEFORE TOM, not the week of TOM. I have two measly days to get my food back together before WI...if I go Saturday.
P doesn't have to go to work Saturday until 1, so chances are I will go stay with him Friday night...
I'm going to visit my BFF Liane in Boston on Thursday, so I might WI Thursday AM, which means I would miss meetings with my regular leader for TWO weeks on a Saturday...that kinda sucks.
I just feel so MEH today...hopefully, I can motivate myself to run at 8PMish tonight...so I don't feel like murdering anyone else.
Still no clue what I'm having for dinner. Don't feel like cooking. Feel like crying. Wish Dad would just cook today.
So cranky - want it to go away. This person is NOT me.
I'm out of control this week....food-wise, and emotionally. There's not much to eat in my house, and having a sinus infection and a million rehearsals for my students' performance of Seussical Jr, I don't have the energy to shop properly...but to be fair, my father and brother haven't shopped either. ANNOYING. I need a sick day from work, but my bosses are shitty, and I will HEAR it if I take a sick day before a break.
I'm over my P+ AGAIN today, this is the 2nd day in a row...all of my WPA/AP are gone. I have TOM and the hunger just doesn't STOP with TOM. No matter what I eat, when, I want more, more, more...I am disgusted with myself. I am about 30 P+ in the red right now, and not really hitting my GHGs the way I want to. And I still need to eat dinner tonight. This cycle of OP2 Overcome is SUCKING!
I'm also SO cranky. I am two instructional days and a Seussical Rehearsal away from my winter break...my students are driving me up the wall...and between my TOM hormones, crazy students, exhaustion, and TOM back pain....I feel like crying today. Or ripping someone's head off.
I'm not used to this. Usually this is the week BEFORE TOM, not the week of TOM. I have two measly days to get my food back together before WI...if I go Saturday.
P doesn't have to go to work Saturday until 1, so chances are I will go stay with him Friday night...
I'm going to visit my BFF Liane in Boston on Thursday, so I might WI Thursday AM, which means I would miss meetings with my regular leader for TWO weeks on a Saturday...that kinda sucks.
I just feel so MEH today...hopefully, I can motivate myself to run at 8PMish tonight...so I don't feel like murdering anyone else.
Still no clue what I'm having for dinner. Don't feel like cooking. Feel like crying. Wish Dad would just cook today.
So cranky - want it to go away. This person is NOT me.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Changes in Vday Plans...
P will be picking me up for dinner (how adorable!)....
Which means I may have 2-3 glasses of wine...Ruh roh. But...I rarely indulge, LOVE my wine, and will have 25 P+ left PLUS 13 of my DPT left when we go out to dinner.
And, I'm gushing, but he said the cutest thing via text last night when he was out with his friends:
"We are so dumb for each other, which makes me more happy than you can imagine."
:::can't stop melting @ nauseating adorableness:::
Which means I may have 2-3 glasses of wine...Ruh roh. But...I rarely indulge, LOVE my wine, and will have 25 P+ left PLUS 13 of my DPT left when we go out to dinner.
And, I'm gushing, but he said the cutest thing via text last night when he was out with his friends:
"We are so dumb for each other, which makes me more happy than you can imagine."
:::can't stop melting @ nauseating adorableness:::
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Revisiting Goals & Rewards
This is what I planned as of January:
180: MacBook (will be buying this with old savings bonds, so not paying much "out of pocket")
175: 25 lbs! New Tattoo "Carpe Diem" design
170-171 (Next 10%): Mani/Pedi
165: Scrubs, Season 4
160: Scrubs, Season 5
154 (Next 10%): Massage
150 (Goal?): iPod touch + Seven Jeans
This is what will CHANGE:
180: MacBook (will be buying this with old savings bonds, so not paying much "out of pocket")
175: 25 lbs! Scrubs, Season 4 + 5
170-171 (Next 10%): Mani/Pedi
165: Scrubs Season 6
160: 40 lbs! New Tattoo: "Carpe Diem" design
154 (Next 10%): Massage
150 (Goal?): iPod touch + Seven Jeans
I decided, that being so close to 175 right now, that I am not yet comfortable with going into a tattoo parlor and dropping trou. I'm going to put my tattoo on my right upper thigh, so that it is seen when wearing a bathing suit in the summer, so hopefully I can hit 160 before summer comes and I'm out on the Jetski. (wear and tear)
This list, of course, is subject to change :-)
I DID buy myself an album on iTunes today. I am also trying to buy myself new clothes every few weeks, to keep my wardrobe current. I deserve nice things (when I can afford them!)
180: MacBook (will be buying this with old savings bonds, so not paying much "out of pocket")
175: 25 lbs! New Tattoo "Carpe Diem" design
170-171 (Next 10%): Mani/Pedi
165: Scrubs, Season 4
160: Scrubs, Season 5
154 (Next 10%): Massage
150 (Goal?): iPod touch + Seven Jeans
This is what will CHANGE:
180: MacBook (will be buying this with old savings bonds, so not paying much "out of pocket")
175: 25 lbs! Scrubs, Season 4 + 5
170-171 (Next 10%): Mani/Pedi
165: Scrubs Season 6
160: 40 lbs! New Tattoo: "Carpe Diem" design
154 (Next 10%): Massage
150 (Goal?): iPod touch + Seven Jeans
I decided, that being so close to 175 right now, that I am not yet comfortable with going into a tattoo parlor and dropping trou. I'm going to put my tattoo on my right upper thigh, so that it is seen when wearing a bathing suit in the summer, so hopefully I can hit 160 before summer comes and I'm out on the Jetski. (wear and tear)
This list, of course, is subject to change :-)
I DID buy myself an album on iTunes today. I am also trying to buy myself new clothes every few weeks, to keep my wardrobe current. I deserve nice things (when I can afford them!)
How the *&$% did I LOSE?!
I'm down .2 today. Being that I was SURE I was going to have a gain, I'm OVERJOYED...believe me - this was a HUGE SV!
Dear Body:
THANK YOU.
Lesson learned: I will not go into the red this week. I am RE-restarting Cycle 3 of OP to Overcome: NO RED POINTS. I can do 21 days without "Red Points" and my body will thank me. Between my 29 DPT, 49 WPA, and APs from running about 13 miles this coming week, I should have MORE than enough food, and still be able to create a calorie deficit. (I only eat about HALF of my APs when I am done with my WPA. I always use my AP's before my WPA).
I ate a LOT of crap this week, with all of the junk that has been in my house, leftover from my Superbowl Party. And I got to thinking....when I eat CRAP, I feel like CRAP. Doritos? Crap. Potato chips? Crap. Ranch Dip? Crap. Pepperoni? Crap.
Stop eating crap = stop FEELING like crap. This is the first week I have really done this since P+ started, and I swear I am NOT going to do it again.
In other, more exciting news...
P is taking me out for dinner for V-day on Monday. He asked before we were "official" if he could see me that day (which I thought was ADORABLE, as I tend to think things are, with him). Last Monday, he texted me while I was at work, to find out if I prefer Italian or Seafood. My response, in typical girl fashion was:
Italian....but am also very partial to seafood so either is fantastic. ;)
So P made reservations at BOTH Italian and Seafood restaurants. He told me last night that we'll pick one to cancel, but he wants to take me to both places bc he really likes them both, "so whichever one we DON'T go to, we'll save for another day."
My plan for V-day is to:
1) Eat LOTS of Power Foods for Breakfast and Lunch
2) Have a veggie snack before dinner (7:30 reservation, at either place)
3) Halve the portion size on whatever I eat at the restaurant.
4) Stick to ONE glass of wine. (which is good, bc I need to drive home @ the end of the night anyway)
5) Limit ANY bread to one piece
P knows that I like to eat, like to cook. He also knows that I have been heavier and am trying to "lose my thyroid weight." He doesn't know yet that I am on Weight Watchers, but it really hasn't come up. I think when I get more comfortable in this relationship, I will let him know....but only if I think it has staying power.
(((P+, and feeling completely appreciated by new DBF)))
Dear Body:
THANK YOU.
Lesson learned: I will not go into the red this week. I am RE-restarting Cycle 3 of OP to Overcome: NO RED POINTS. I can do 21 days without "Red Points" and my body will thank me. Between my 29 DPT, 49 WPA, and APs from running about 13 miles this coming week, I should have MORE than enough food, and still be able to create a calorie deficit. (I only eat about HALF of my APs when I am done with my WPA. I always use my AP's before my WPA).
I ate a LOT of crap this week, with all of the junk that has been in my house, leftover from my Superbowl Party. And I got to thinking....when I eat CRAP, I feel like CRAP. Doritos? Crap. Potato chips? Crap. Ranch Dip? Crap. Pepperoni? Crap.
Stop eating crap = stop FEELING like crap. This is the first week I have really done this since P+ started, and I swear I am NOT going to do it again.
In other, more exciting news...
P is taking me out for dinner for V-day on Monday. He asked before we were "official" if he could see me that day (which I thought was ADORABLE, as I tend to think things are, with him). Last Monday, he texted me while I was at work, to find out if I prefer Italian or Seafood. My response, in typical girl fashion was:
Italian....but am also very partial to seafood so either is fantastic. ;)
So P made reservations at BOTH Italian and Seafood restaurants. He told me last night that we'll pick one to cancel, but he wants to take me to both places bc he really likes them both, "so whichever one we DON'T go to, we'll save for another day."
My plan for V-day is to:
1) Eat LOTS of Power Foods for Breakfast and Lunch
2) Have a veggie snack before dinner (7:30 reservation, at either place)
3) Halve the portion size on whatever I eat at the restaurant.
4) Stick to ONE glass of wine. (which is good, bc I need to drive home @ the end of the night anyway)
5) Limit ANY bread to one piece
P knows that I like to eat, like to cook. He also knows that I have been heavier and am trying to "lose my thyroid weight." He doesn't know yet that I am on Weight Watchers, but it really hasn't come up. I think when I get more comfortable in this relationship, I will let him know....but only if I think it has staying power.
(((P+, and feeling completely appreciated by new DBF)))
Friday, February 11, 2011
UGH....47 P+ in the Red....
This is the VERY FIRST time I've been so far in the red since P+ began.
Truth is, physically, I feel terrible. My PMS this week in conjunction with the Superbowl caused me to go WAY over my P+.
The other problem? A pulled muscle which means I only got in ONE run as of this afternoon. I'm going to try to get in another at 7:30.
ANNNND, probably a little bit of emotional eating. A colleague/friend of mine got royally f*cked by our school, and it really came down in the last week. It's really disappointing, as I work in a religious private school, and she was treated like a piece of horse shit.
It's really brought a lot of things into question for me...because, I now doubt how many people who are running the churches are really inherently GOOD people...This scares me. I'm also afraid, after having my job threatened for a bullsh*t reason (myself, and 4 others), that after my friend is gone, they will look for someone else to abuse and start psychological warfare with. ("They" being my Principals; I am a school teacher, if I haven't mentioned this before).
I stepped on the scale again today, and I was + 1.8 after school. So, yeah, I am expecting a gain tomorrow. I haven't decided yet if I am going to take the NWI pass or not. The point of the matter is
1) Tomorrow begins a new day
2) Tomorrow begins a new WEEK
3) Next week I will NOT have a gain
I'll decide tomorrow morning if I can emotionally handle seeing the numbers going up during a PMS week. If I can, I will take the WI and eat the gain. If I can't, I will take the NWI, and move on.
Either way, I'm strong, and I've been rocking this. I'm worth it, and I love how I feel (other than being INCREDIBLY BLOATED right now...:-/ )
Truth is, physically, I feel terrible. My PMS this week in conjunction with the Superbowl caused me to go WAY over my P+.
The other problem? A pulled muscle which means I only got in ONE run as of this afternoon. I'm going to try to get in another at 7:30.
ANNNND, probably a little bit of emotional eating. A colleague/friend of mine got royally f*cked by our school, and it really came down in the last week. It's really disappointing, as I work in a religious private school, and she was treated like a piece of horse shit.
It's really brought a lot of things into question for me...because, I now doubt how many people who are running the churches are really inherently GOOD people...This scares me. I'm also afraid, after having my job threatened for a bullsh*t reason (myself, and 4 others), that after my friend is gone, they will look for someone else to abuse and start psychological warfare with. ("They" being my Principals; I am a school teacher, if I haven't mentioned this before).
I stepped on the scale again today, and I was + 1.8 after school. So, yeah, I am expecting a gain tomorrow. I haven't decided yet if I am going to take the NWI pass or not. The point of the matter is
1) Tomorrow begins a new day
2) Tomorrow begins a new WEEK
3) Next week I will NOT have a gain
I'll decide tomorrow morning if I can emotionally handle seeing the numbers going up during a PMS week. If I can, I will take the WI and eat the gain. If I can't, I will take the NWI, and move on.
Either way, I'm strong, and I've been rocking this. I'm worth it, and I love how I feel (other than being INCREDIBLY BLOATED right now...:-/ )
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Just stepped off the scale....
....from my mid-week peek. Right now, it shows up .9, and while I HATE to count chickens before they're hatched, I am SURE I can turn that around by Sat AM with my running, and more Healthy Oils (I've been REALLY short on them this week - ate at friends' houses two nights in a row)....
I'm behind on running this week. It's PMS week, and with TOM looming, I always have back pain. Couple that with a sore throat, and I haven't run since THURSDAY. I'll be running again tonight, but just shooting for three runs this week. I will also be seeing my chiropractor tonight. I feel so defeated when I am not running. I WILL fix this tonight, although I think it's going to be on my home treadmill, bc with all of the going out I've been doing lately, I have not really spent adequate quality time with my dog, ROWDY! :-)
Cooking dinner tonight. Haven't cooked since Sunday when I had a Superbowl gathering for my nearest + dearest friends (and of COURSE, new DBF, P). Making Skinnytaste's Pasta Fagioli, which has become a house favorite, and I make it about every other week. I also use some of my DPT with this to have 2 tsp of evoo with Italian Bread for dipping - and BELIEVE me, that Italian bread is SO worth those P+!
So, I am telling you all this out of love (though it may be TMI)....but Healthy oils REALLY work. I have felt SO backed up all week missing out on them. Don't neglect them! (Plus, when you eat them in the manner that I'm eating them, they are SO fun and indulgent).
I'm behind on running this week. It's PMS week, and with TOM looming, I always have back pain. Couple that with a sore throat, and I haven't run since THURSDAY. I'll be running again tonight, but just shooting for three runs this week. I will also be seeing my chiropractor tonight. I feel so defeated when I am not running. I WILL fix this tonight, although I think it's going to be on my home treadmill, bc with all of the going out I've been doing lately, I have not really spent adequate quality time with my dog, ROWDY! :-)
Cooking dinner tonight. Haven't cooked since Sunday when I had a Superbowl gathering for my nearest + dearest friends (and of COURSE, new DBF, P). Making Skinnytaste's Pasta Fagioli, which has become a house favorite, and I make it about every other week. I also use some of my DPT with this to have 2 tsp of evoo with Italian Bread for dipping - and BELIEVE me, that Italian bread is SO worth those P+!
So, I am telling you all this out of love (though it may be TMI)....but Healthy oils REALLY work. I have felt SO backed up all week missing out on them. Don't neglect them! (Plus, when you eat them in the manner that I'm eating them, they are SO fun and indulgent).
Saturday, February 5, 2011
IIiiiiiiiiiiii have a boyyyyyyyyyyyyyfriend! (And another loss!)
So as of last night, P and I are official. I initiated the conversation, but it was really precious. I am SO smitted with him. I stayed over his place (not planned, as he is at work today - but we were snuggly and good) and am so excited to see him come to my house tomorrow for my Superbowl Party! He is just all sorts of adorable, and I am trying VERY hard not to gush, but it's hard not to. Thank you, OKCupid/my initiating conversation!
At WI, I was down another .6, bringing me to 178.8. I'm really excited bc I was kinda holding off on my MacBook - in the past, I have a history yo-yo-ing back up after I hit a milestone goal (180, 10%)...so I am really glad to have continued to lose, and plan to try to go get my MacBook at the mall today, if I have enough time btwn all of the house cleaning and preparing for Superbowl tomorrow. (btw, I am a DIE HARD Giants fan, but a football fan in general, it's a big TO-DO for me)
I am expecting my losses to slow down from this point forward - but I feel really good and positive about hitting goal in 2011. I have 28.8 lbs to go, and 10 months to do it in...so that's roughly 2.88 a month...so from here on in, I plan to shoot for a 3 lb loss/month. This is very realistic and HEALTHY - which is the most important thing.
I indulged this AM with my favorite weekend breakfast, tweaked:
Bagel w
4 egg whites, cooked in
1 tsp canola,
and 1 laughing cow cheese on the side
NOTHING beats a Long Island bagel. But, for 8 pts, I haven't had one in about 8 weeks!
Anyhow, I am off to work on my cleaning and errands. I'll be blogging about Superbowl Menu tomorrow or later this evening. I plan to have an OP Superbowl! woohoo!
At WI, I was down another .6, bringing me to 178.8. I'm really excited bc I was kinda holding off on my MacBook - in the past, I have a history yo-yo-ing back up after I hit a milestone goal (180, 10%)...so I am really glad to have continued to lose, and plan to try to go get my MacBook at the mall today, if I have enough time btwn all of the house cleaning and preparing for Superbowl tomorrow. (btw, I am a DIE HARD Giants fan, but a football fan in general, it's a big TO-DO for me)
I am expecting my losses to slow down from this point forward - but I feel really good and positive about hitting goal in 2011. I have 28.8 lbs to go, and 10 months to do it in...so that's roughly 2.88 a month...so from here on in, I plan to shoot for a 3 lb loss/month. This is very realistic and HEALTHY - which is the most important thing.
I indulged this AM with my favorite weekend breakfast, tweaked:
Bagel w
4 egg whites, cooked in
1 tsp canola,
and 1 laughing cow cheese on the side
NOTHING beats a Long Island bagel. But, for 8 pts, I haven't had one in about 8 weeks!
Anyhow, I am off to work on my cleaning and errands. I'll be blogging about Superbowl Menu tomorrow or later this evening. I plan to have an OP Superbowl! woohoo!
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Mid-week peek and February goals...
I did my typical Wednesday peek was was up .4...but honestly, that could easily be a loss by Saturday. We didn't have any fruit in the house until today - and I ate what P cooked me last night (delicious!) but could have had ANY amount of sodium in it. Either way, I have 3 more runs this week, 15 WPA left before dinner tonight, and the opportunity to take good care of my body for the rest of the week. If I stay diligent, I am not worried. I know I have said it about a THOUSAND times, but I really love the P+ plan and how satisfied I have been on it. There is literally NOTHING that I really cut out. For example, tonight I am having Spinach & Cheese Tortelini with Italian bread and EVOO. Granted, I cut down my portion sizes, but honestly, I'd rather have some than none.
SO, my February Goals, after considering them for a few days, are this:
1) approximately 50 miles logged running
2) 4 "cross training" workouts (one none-running workout per week)
3) Lose 3 lbs (and forgive myself when I don't)
4) Give up Diet Soda!
5) Take ONE class...of some kind, fitness or otherwise - I just want to learn new things!
I'm on day 2 of giving up diet soda...I usually only have one a day, but I find that I am REALLY dragging in the afternoons! I just hate the idea of drinking my sodium - I had also done away with it in HS, so I know I am capable of it...and I KNOW it's better to get rid of the chemicals, but I still expect it to be on the difficult side. BUT, I am using the logic that if I can do it for 28 days, I can do it forever.
NSV yesterday: My jeans have been falling down, so I went to American Eagle to try on a size 12 - and they fit! My butt looks great, lol
SO, my February Goals, after considering them for a few days, are this:
1) approximately 50 miles logged running
2) 4 "cross training" workouts (one none-running workout per week)
3) Lose 3 lbs (and forgive myself when I don't)
4) Give up Diet Soda!
5) Take ONE class...of some kind, fitness or otherwise - I just want to learn new things!
I'm on day 2 of giving up diet soda...I usually only have one a day, but I find that I am REALLY dragging in the afternoons! I just hate the idea of drinking my sodium - I had also done away with it in HS, so I know I am capable of it...and I KNOW it's better to get rid of the chemicals, but I still expect it to be on the difficult side. BUT, I am using the logic that if I can do it for 28 days, I can do it forever.
NSV yesterday: My jeans have been falling down, so I went to American Eagle to try on a size 12 - and they fit! My butt looks great, lol
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