Down .4!

Maybe I wasn't as much "In the red" as I had thought. I tend to ADD points when I go into the red to try to deter myself from going further into the red.

Either way, as of today, I have 22 lbs to goal, 2 lbs to return to my 10%,  5 lbs to my low weight from February, 7 lbs to 55 lost, and 12 lbs to a minigoal with my leader. (She gives us cool rewards if we set a goal with her. I'm SO token motivated - forever the teacher). Got my 5K token today. I love the bling on my 10% keyring.

(Please pardon the rogue boob. PMSing + push-up bra = tiny B's become spilly C's. Pretty sure I won't be wearing this with a pushup!)

Have I mentioned lately how much I love Target? Cause I'm OBSESSED. I bought this dress there the other day, it's a T-shirt kind of material, and bc of that, it's generously sized. (A medium! I am NOT a medium with a 38B chest and a 38-something in waist!) I bought it without trying on, and figured, wth, I would return it if it didn't fit. I figured it can double as a work dress with a cami, as it is almost knee length.

Wow! :)

I'm up to 50 followers on my blog. It like it. I feel like, HEY, I must be writing SOMETHING worthwhile, because 50 people want to know what I have to say on a regular basis. (Whether or not they read regularly, it still makes me feel pretty good).

I WI tomorrow. I was NOT really OP last night after dinner, or tonight after work....so I have 13 days OP in a row, 1 day NOT OP, and then back to being OP tomorrow. I have a feeling I'm going to gain tomorrow. My goal with OP2Overcome this time around was to be consistent with counting.

I know I am 25P+ in the red with minimal exercise this week.

I was thinking tonight...I'm about 25 lbs from my goal weight.  I would like to hit goal by 2012. I have about 6 months to lose 25 lbs.

Realistic, yes. If I am REALLY diligent and good to myself. Diligent is NOT something I have been.

Oh, hello empty running log:

I need to commit to running 3x a week. I LOVE my body when I'm committed to running. My next 5K is only 31 days away! I actually entered in the "Clydesdale" category - women 160lbs+....so hopefully, I can get close to placing for my age group in that category.

Oh, and hello Rowdy pups:

Mid-week peek....

Up .2 on a Wednesday afternoon. (Normal WI Saturday AM)

Not bad for being less than 7 days away from TOM. I'm -6 in the red right now, but I will be making that up with exercise, easily.

Cutting out LOTS of sodium for tomorrow (last day before WI) and hoping for the best. It's hot and muggy out. Fingers VERY swollen.

Oh, and LOTS and LOTS of water.

Busy week at work = crappy workout motivation. But I WILL go running tomorrow. Gonna put myself back on C25K to build some speed/get regular outdoor running workouts.

The biggest challenge of this week is going to be NOT eating a majority of my WPA on Saturday....I have a BBQ @ DBFs on Sunday...

...and I plan on getting festively drunk. Need to squirrel away WPA for that - and then use AP to sustain my week.

Check in again after WI Saturday! :)

Thank you, dear sweet baby Jesus.

I was TOTALLY expecting a gain today, in light of being 45P+ in the red, and stress eating all week. No exercise. Antibiotic. Being sedentary.

I was DOWN 1.2! I almost fell off the scale.

It felt SO good to finally see a formidable loss again! That's it, I'm recommitted, fresh start, I am DONE with throwing my food down the crapper.

My work life SUCKS, so I need to make my personal life ROCK. Taking care of me, through healthful eating and activity, is my new hobby. It was my hobby until February. Sometimes, we get rocked. I think some of the weight I gained back was "happy weight" from settling into a relationship, too.

No more negativity. Need to embrace new food choices. Need to stay on TOP of errands.

I'm running a 5K tomorrow. I haven't trained for it, but it's just 3.1 miles, nothing to my 6.21 a few weeks ago. I'm going to run a short mile in today's BEAUTIFUL weather with the dog, and then just CHILL till it's time to see my man. There MAY be a mani/pedi in there, for the sole purpose of rewarding myself after a GOOD loss.

Not playing around anymore. THIS is hanging up on my closet.....

Not one, but TWO bikinis. I am about 7 lbs away from "hot" bikini weight. (I'm also psyched that I get to rotate in yet ANOTHER race number tomorrow, and rotate out my "ticket" frame to another wall in my room. I'm so OCD)

Starting Insanity this week - and going to try to move my (VERY SHORT) runs to mornings.

Starting measurements:

(in sports bra & capri pants)

Bust: 42"

Waist: 38"

Hips: 42"

R arm: 11"

L arm: 11"

R calf: 15"

L calf: 15"

Weight: 182.4

Here we go!!!

Saturday/Sat - Thurs in review

+.6 on Saturday. An fml. Did SFT for the week, and probably would have lost, but TOM came for the 2nd time this month. (Started BC for my PCOS, and I am all SORTS of messed up).

Then, I was going to do a second week of SFT. Then, brother & I took mom to lunch @ Legal Seafoods for Mother's Day. After the end of the day, I looked at my day on SFT vs P+, and I had NO WPA left on SFT, but did pretty well with P+. I stayed on P+ for the week.

I have a sinus infection. I haven't been able to run or workout all week long. I feel like crap.

Yesterday, I went into the red 30P+. It made me feel like crap. It was after my midweek peek, which said I was up 3 LBS.

There's NO WAY.

I'm still feeling defeated - and I felt SO good when I was being OP. At least I have tracked everything. The emotional stress of my job is causing me to stress eat. It's making me feel worthless. The lack of working out doesn't help. SIGH.

I've been crying for the past two hours...if you're in for a long read, here it is (from WW boards):

As some of you may know, I'm a teacher at a private school whose contract was not renewed for Fall. (read here at http://tinyurl.com/4x97576 for details).

Short version: It was unfounded, a shock to me, and I got my letter one month earlier than other teachers (none of whom were let go, our staff is 15 people). I was NOT excessed. It was personal (for what, I don't know).

Since April 15, every day going to work has been a battle. My bosses are mental terrorists who are very verbally abusive. I have about 5 parents of my 25 students who are "out to get me" bc the principals never told the parents they weren't getting last year's teacher, Ms. C. With 17 school days till graduation, they are spreading rumors and not listening to answers I give them about graduation. They are choosing a break in communication, and constantly going over my head.

I was going to work every day for my 25 children.

These last two weeks, my 25 children have chosen to be rude, disrespectful, and talk over me. I refuse to yell anymore, and sending kids to the principal is not an option. My assistant is also at a loss. There are no more consequences for negative behavior (thanks to my principals) and with my REALLY rough group, the two positive behavior support systems I have aren't enough.

My anxiety going to work every day is astounding. I come home exhausted, frustrated, and upset. I left the building crying today. I feel so worthless.

I have a ton of extracurricular events coming up in the next few weeks - adding insult to injury.

I just feel like, if the kids aren't in it anymore, how can I get motivated to get out of bed for work in the morning?


I should add, after the kids finish, I have another 6 days of work, wherein I will be expected to cover classes for my colleagues.

I'm going to miss my children at the end of things, and my students in the musical that I choreographed for them (for free).

I need medical benefits, and I am just so scared and so stressed every day. It's making my WLJ SO SO hard.

Holycrap.

I've been sick so I haven't posted. Hopefully tonight after dinner.

I just made a huge mistake:

I saw Pioneer Woman's blog for the first time.

:::foodgasm:::

Went all of the way to the beach yesterday...

(ok, so it's only about 10 miles away...)

And realized they charge for parking on the weekend. $8. I had no cash. WASTE of gas money.

I guess it's good though, bc I still have hip pain, and today I am choosing NOT to run through it.

I'm kind of annoyed - it's been a week since I ran.

2nd chiropractic appointment this week to "fix" me, then I'll run again.....

::AP FAIL::

One of the 8 million reasons I love my leader...

I posted about finishing my first 10K last week. Marianne gave me THIS today at my meeting:

Cool. :) I'm very motivated by tokens. They're already on my 10% keychain. 

I was down .1, which is nominal, but considering I was a PMS Monster ALL week, and had about 5 beers last night, as well as guac and tortilla chips. Not to say it was a "Last Supper" by any means, but today is OFFICIALLY Day 1 of SFT, and OFFICIALLY Day 1 of a new cycle of OP 2 Overcome.

Today is also my first day of running again, since the 10K. I'm planning on driving to the beach to run the boardwalk, bc it is GORGEOUS out today. I've never done this before, so why not start now? I just hope the weather holds out. I plan to go around 1 (to give me enough time to digest) - and it's supposed to rain later.

We shall see.

Switching to SFT....

And this was my dinner tonight...The only thing that was NOT a power-food was my Lite Sour Cream...but it was measured and counted.

I'm still expecting a gain on Saturday, but going full-fledged SFT after that. Tomorrow is an SFT day, as well.

I'm going to learn to find "hungry" and "satisfied."

Recipe will follow another day, but...It was Pan-Seared Chipotle-Lime Chicken with Rice, Stewed Tomatoes & Beans.

A happy accident. :) I love that I can throw things together in a pinch!

You need to snap out of this terrible funk.

You feel defeated.

You feel fat.

You feel ugly.

Your sense of self-worth is plummeting, as you have lost your job for the fall, once again.

Your small staff is gossiping about you, because they all know you lost your job for the fall.

Your world is shaken, your trust has been betrayed.

You hate getting up for work every day, because going to work creates anxiety.

You can't control your emotional eating.

Your DBF is working crazy long hours, and you haven't seen him since Saturday.

Your BFFs all seem "busy."

You're PMSing.

When it rains, it pours - but how do you ESCAPE and start to feel good again?

And HOW can you justify GAINING on the scale again...?

Sorry all, I feel very low tonight...

OK, ok....

I weighed in on Saturday but didn't blog about it. Fact is, even though I expected the gain that I got, I was REALLY cranky about it. I was up about 2.9, bringing me back to 30 P+.

183.1. That's 3.1 pounds OVER my 10%.

So this week, I am TRYING more. Of course, it didn't help that I had a family party almost immediately after WI.

I went in, in pretty good shape. I noshed on veggies and fruit.

And then came the cheese....OOOOH the cheese. But on the upside, at least I didn't overindulge in alcohol. I had one light beer and one glass of white wine.

Sunday, I ran my first 10K. I went into it, hoping simply to finish in less than 1 hr 30 mins, as I was NOT well-trained. I ended up finishing in 1:25 after a horrible run-in with a porta potty that didn't have a LOCK (FAIL! You try to pull up your sweaty granny panties and skin-tight running capris with one hand!)....so I could have been a little quicker.

It felt great, and I burned 1393 calories.

Unfortunately, I ate all of those APs.

I'm a little in the red today. I'm going to do a light walk on the treadmill tonight - I'm not ready to run yet, due to sore calves.

Tomorrow, Zumba...Running Thursday and Friday, hopefully.

I need to make a commitment to myself NOT to eat my AP's...it looks to me like that's what's killing my WLJ right now, and putting me over the edge.

:::hoping for a loss Sat, despite incoming TOM:::

I will not be taking a mid-week peek this week.