Holy sh*t!

I peeked tonight, the scale is saying up 5.7 lbs.

Holy shit. Why can't I stop being a hunger monster? I feel disgusting about myself. I know this eating is mostly emotional, as DBF is away, but I feel like SHIT. I know I overate this week, but I don't think I overate by like 21,000 calories...

I need to stop this. I don't even know why I am doing this. I'm just so out of control. I couldn't even get to the gym tonight bc I felt like such shit, and of course, there are other emotional issues at play here.

I KNOW I am due for a gain on Saturday, but I am really anxious to get back to my meeting. I think that I need to just go to the meeting, perhaps I will NOT WI, and then I think I can refocus.

I wish I could stop feeling disgusted. I can't imagine, I must have eaten about 150 P+ over the last three days.

HELP, please help.