Mid-Week Peek - up 3.3!....emotional ramblings

I'm so angry and disappointed at myself lately. Today WOULD have been day 5 of OP 2 Overcome...if I was OP.

Yesterday, I fell off. I am having a hard time regulating my hunger & listening to my hunger signals. There's a lot of emotional things in the way.

This is what I am thinking about:
1 - I am feeling daunted by the amount of mileage I need to cover before May 1 in order to be prepared for my Half Marathon. I am thinking I am not prepared, and am looking into switching to the 10K, as there is a 3-hour limit on the course.
2 - The people I work for are at it again, attacking us and lashing out. It makes going to work very tense and stressful. I worry at night before I go to sleep that in the morning, it will be my "turn" to be verbally abused and belittled by them.
3 - Summer is coming. I want to lose another 10 lbs by then. I'm feeling stressed/pressured.
4 - I have a lot of extracurricular events coming up at school in May. I have to start rehearsing Kindergarten graduation for June, I am stressed and nervous about this!
5 - DBF and I said "ILY" a few weeks ago. It was amazing. I am so deeply in love with this man and count myself lucky to be with him. However, the thing this brings out in me is insecurity. It's hard for me to just let go and trust that he loves me and is as grateful for me as I am for him. This is "FAT" me talking...aka how I have thought guys view me for my whole life. That I'm "less than.." that I'm "undeserving"...that I'm "not good enough." And I guess the most ridiculous thing about all of this is that  he is no tiny person, by any means. I would say he's btwn 40-50 lbs overweight...like a teddy bear....and I love it. I trust him deeply, but I've never felt this way about ANY man before (though my dating history is only about 5-6 men) and that is SCARY to me. I'm more scared of being hurt than anything else. *sigh* I guess the issue is, I love and I trust him - but I am so worried that he will "fall out of love" with me.

^ The funny thing about all of this, is that even though we have only known each other (via internet) for 6 months, and in person for 4 months, and dating for 3 months....I've recently been thinking about how lovely it would be to LIVE with him, in the future, if things continue this way.....

I'm trying not to write the story before the book, here...but I just feel like this is the start of something VERY good.

WLJ-wise, tonight, I'm going to do my run @ the gym, bc I don't feel challenged enough on my home treadmill, and then, tomorrow, I'm starting again with only my DP. Cause I'm about 50 pts in the red....

I'm pretty sure I can't save my week by Sat AM, and that I will be over 180 again, but I'm trying to move forward.

Any thoughts, motivation, or cheering from you folks would be much appreciated. I'm a lost lamb of a WW right now...